X-S FC best friends, comrades and team mates,

We are starting our 3rd competitive season in a row with hardly any break in between. Power right?

A message from the Man-on-Fire, Derek:

First league match for D2D Sunday League:

Venue: Compassvale Secondary
Time: 830am


IMPORTANT: League payment of $70 per person must be brought to the next game. Derek said it will be pro-rated at end of season. Thanks guys.

By the way, Playsports have yet to pay me our 100bucks. Any suggestions to celebrate the 3rd place?

P.S. All new X-S FC photos on Facebook! 1) Klakar finds love! 2) Indecent exposure! 3) Michael Jackson Japanese tribute!

X-S Trounce Indian Boys 3-0

Yay.

POZT RE-QUEZ-TERD BY YAZ:

PUH-LEAZE TAKE NOTE TOO-MOLO GAIM IZ AT BRADDELL LEG-SIDE SEC-AND-ARY SKOOL 9AM IT IZ AN ER-BAN-DERNED SKOOL BART DUN BE SEE-CAT DARE IZ NO GHOZT.

BER-RING BOF JER-SEES OH-KAY? WE IZ GONE-ER WHOOP SARM ROO-DEE-POO CAN-DEE AZZ.

TANK-EW.

The Many Faces of Eng

Once upon a time, Eng was prim and proper and ready to serve his nation. Now, he is a scandal in disguise, out to sow his seeds.


Caught in the act: Eng with a supermodel.

Orgasm.

Eng's supermodel playmate for the night. They call her Little Miss Pouty Lips.

Eng has finally been contactable after disappearing for a week long sexcapade in Perth where he was star of the show and top dog in the largest annual nude beach party. When quizzed about the photos and his affair, he squinted his already tiny eyes and said this, " I used to be commander-in-chief of my pimp ship flyin' high, til I met this pretty little missile, shot me out the sky". Our man has found love. And with those lips, she can definitely give Eng the best of kisses.

X-S FC v Western Redjacks

Time: 1415 hours sharp
Attire: Both white & yellow as usual
Venue: Changkat Changi Secondary (click!)

Win lose or draw, we will go makan at Simpang Bedok after the match. Any objections?

I hope everyone can come down with the exception of Hafiz (confined) and Eng (overseas). Ali will be wearing new boots which cost $19 and Bhai's cost 5 times of that.

This is the penultimate match of our second competitive season and it's been a wonderful journey thus far. New players have joined as friends and I believe everyone has improved beyond measure. Let's end the season with a stupendous win and we can celebrate a podium finish! Farrell and Nuri are back, let's hope the defence hits the ground running.

Everyone please update availability. Hope to see you all!

INSPIRATION FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD

Strange writings have indeed been appearing at sandy areas all over the world, that is if Dubai and Vancouver represent the rest of the world. The latest appeared right in front of everyone's favourite vice-captain when he was sun-and-naked-people watching at a nude beach. It left him confused, as he wondered whether it was really a sign of things to come, and if western appendages are really larger than their eastern counterparts because it doesn't seem that way.

Next up: The deep and dark secrets of Eng. With photos to back it all up.

One more match to go in the absence of the ever-present Eng and the return of the King.

INSPIRATION FROM DUBAI

A miracle in Dubai was discovered recently that was imprinted in the sands. It was a message. ON SAND. Believe it or not.

Despite manager Derek O'Leary being the only unoccupied person-in-charge, the board refused to send him to Sandy areas for fear of the nasty things he'd do there. (At this point the author requests any reader who gets the joke to give a virtual high-five to Fabreyas via SMS as they try to stifle their laughter.) X-S immediately sent manager Yarsene Wenger to check it validity. Here it is:

The manager had this to say, "Oh I don't know, I didn't see much of it. Maybe the referee knows. He should make the correct decision. I cannot comment as I didn't see the incident."

This message was also spotted:

Let's wish our striker who's blessed with the strength and willpower of an Ox a quick return to first-team action.

As he left the desert, he knew it was a sign as he saw this silhouette...