Dear all,

This is your vice-captain speaking.

The match on sunday was great success. Apologies to the fans who were singing my name as i stepped up to take the penalty. Apologies to the fans who were singing my name until the moment i kicked the penalty. Balls to Derek because i can hear your voice the loudest throughout. The miss was part of a script, designed to test the resolve of the team after going down by 2 goals. Neither me nor Rafarrell Benitez was disappointed. But the match affirmed something i had in mind all along: The team spirit and the desire to win.

We started off the season slow, had a couple of differences, but all was settled soon as we started playing our football. Not the best at times, but there was never doubt about the team's ability and potential, only the sexual orientation of a handful. We've had some amazing games (ESFC, Western Redjacks, HRFC), and even yesterday's game was something that we could be proud of. Even though it was just a friendly, we showed so much desire to win the ref was scared shit he had to start threatening to send Yaz off. There's just this thing that motivates us so well in some games. Call it pride, call it the winning mentality, call it anything, but i don't know what it is anyway. It's just something. We may not be perched at the top of the table now or at the end of this season, but still, the season would be a great success. It was never going to be easy, getting a team down every sunday to play. Many a team have came(on Derek's face) and gone, but not us. And we will stay that way. There will be football to play as long as somebody in this team wants to play. He just needs to bring a ball and go downstairs.

Over the years, we have become more than a football team. We have became a sausage fest week in week out, and it's time to change that. Players should start bringing hot girlfriends to games, and in 5 years, you can bring your hot wives. Subsequently, when your daughters turn 18, you can bring them too!

Enough has been said. Das Dingo to the remaining games you guys have. I'm off, to somewhere faraway to promote my hair products. To borrow a quote from Marianne Williamson, " Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure ". Go forth, and secure 4th. Hurhur. To match that, i shall come up with one myself, " He who lasts longest, is the strongest ". Short, but yet but yet so meaningful.

So long, happy harpies. May Master Yoda be with you.

Yours sincerely,
Bae Jian Kuang, platoon sergeant, scaredy cat, master vaizard, Tai Lung the snow leopard, driving instructor, and just a few more that i can't remember.