Sunday, February 22, 2009

Viva La Vida!

X-S recorded morale-boosting win over PCC in their latest match-up. A nervy 3-2 win meant that they still have not found the right balance between defence and attack. However, the players are playing a nice level of football with intricate passing play. Midfielders and attackers can be proud of their performance but the same cannot be said about the defence. BacaNuri Sagna still thinks its fun to pass back into his own penalty area when opposing strikers are lurking. Derek insists on getting the ref's attention despite not being on the pitch and Wee Meng loves bangin' players from the back. Sometimes, he uses his hands too. The goals we conceded were pretty damn gay and this is a sounding to players that the fullback positions are still uncemented and anyone can make it theirs if they actually manage to put in a decent performance. If not, the taicho has to do it himself.

We have to concentrate on our next league game against a team that ridin' high in third place on the league. We've haven't done justice in our performance against the top two, so this is the chance to haul ourselves to infinity, AND BEYOND!

Top scorer of 2003, Shahraul has been sidelined with a busted knee, and looks set to be out for a month or so. Luckily for us, Emile Juskey is on fire. He equalised for X-S after some nifty footwork and imbalanced strength in the opposing penalty area when Dani's weak shot trickled through the defence. What an acquisition! We should name him Jusdriano instead.

Yong Tevez and Manqif both scored after long droughts by their standards and set X-S on the way to a famous win. Jusri set up Yong with a wonderful through-ball and he duly slotted home. And when Yarsene says "PAY IT FORWARD", the players respond. Yong then paid it forward when he released Thaqif to nip it past the goalie late in the second half.

If you're happy and you know it, JIZZ YOUR PANTS.

WOOWEEMENG!

*edited*

Happy Belated Birthday to Taka!
We are sorry there is not enough team fund to buy you a pair of Copa Mundial.
Don't think too much, its not to pay for someone's dental surgery nor someone elses nose job.

Of course, X-S FC Player of the Month goes to none other than RonAlidinho!
This man has slimmed down since his Barca days and now trains harder than the average player. When everyone was happily on the bench, he was kicking the matchball on his own at some corner, refusing to let the ref use it. After the game, he was still peppering shots on goal, obviously dismayed that his free-kick that rattled the crossbar so hard that tremors could be felt in Aceh did not go in. Well, hard luck there but now we know who can take long-range free-kicks in The NAKED Singh's absence.

In response, The NAKED Singh is now homeless and not attending our matches. He will be dealt with internally as a birthday present to the Japanese.

In other news, Ilhan Manqif the Dwarven Sniper teamed up with Enchantress, Pit Lord and Spirit Breaker to get raped.

Lastly, let's stop pissing Beckham off. At this rate he WILL fly back to LA Galaxy and we don't want that do we?

Friday, February 20, 2009

Up to date Updates:



Sunday 22 Feb
Xin Min Secondary
9am
X-S FC VS TK Chinese
Yellow yellow dirty fellows



In the subsequent 2 games after ESFC, X-S FC managed 2 draws. In the words of Derek O'Leary, the team is on a rampaging 3 game unbeaten run. And in the words of retro pop group Starship, "nothing's gonna stop us now". We have shown that we're able to defend as a team. Ignoring the first game where 6 goals were smashed past us, we've probably got the best defensive record in the league. Well done to everyone. Become a little stingier and Playsports will kick us out for being too defensive. Now, we gotta learn to score. And what to do when we have the ball. It's actually quite simple. 3 options:

1) pass it
2) shoot and score from wherever you are
3) juggle it on your head like a seal

Let's put it into practice this sunday.
For now, updates on the on-goings in the club. Gay Awareness Day was just held recently and it's a major event on the team's calendar every year, as we show our appreciation to the homosexuals in the team. This year, we had the honour of having Takashi crooning to Beyonce's latest single, "if i were a boy" to a sellout crowd of one Derek O Leary. Apparently, when the moment Taka started singing, he JIZZED IN HIS PANTS.
Last but not least, there's a groundbreaking discovery by Koneksutchi Mayuri of the Research and Development Bureau.

Excessive Defending of the Ancients enlarges your nasal cavity. This is a serious matter and all players are advised to cut down on it. Scroll down for evidence.


Before

After playing DOTA non-stop for 3 months




Spot the difference? They are the same person. Really.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Yarsene Wenger to go for broke in the next game

X-S Manager Wenger is planning to go all-out in the offensive after studying the Playsports League Table. Currently, his team has the second stingiest defence but also the worst scoring record in the league. Goals were never the problem in ESPZEN and its been highlighted that the strikers morale have been affected. This plus a recent drop in the form of Fabreyas in central midfield for the National team means that changes are abound.

Yarsene is also planning to discuss this in length with his fellow managers, after his assistant Nuri Faria reported the going-ons in his absence the previous match. Big "Bhai" Sukalari (translated in malay as "like to run") took managerial post for the last league game and looked a good steady replacement for X-S since being sacked by Chelsea FC. His 15million compensation could build us a stadium, plus his nights of poker at his current Hall of Residence is earning his a steady income. Hopefully he channels these funds to paying his debts to the team and team-mates.

Yarsene spoke to this reporter in his French accent, loosely translated as "When I opened a window and the breeze rolled in, I JIZZED IN MY PANTS." We're still not sure what that means but the spectators should be in for a treat for the coming league match.

New acquisition striker Emile Juskey has opened his scoring account at a time when every other X-S striking option is on a barren run. Will they be inspired by this big, bungling, goal-scoring striker? It remains to be seen.

Pray tell there will be a friendly this weekend to keep the fitness and sharpness up. Anyone with suggestions for locations and field kindly let us know. TK Chinese are waiting in the wings.

DAS DINGO!

Friday, February 06, 2009

X-S FC v BBDG Elites

1500 (Meet at 1415)
Kent Ridge Sec (near NUS, Clementi. check www.streetdirectory.com)
Bring both kits (as usual)



Das dingo! A must win match for the Happy Harpies this Sunday. Please update availability. Your initiative. Opponents are in red. Thank you guys. Qif please let me know if Jusri is coming. See ya!

Sunday, February 01, 2009

X-S FC 1
Everyday Sunday FC 0


It is arguably the best result ever in the club's history, ever since......ever since the players starting growing pubes. Although ESFC only had 10 players, it was still a good result against a team touted to be champions of the league. The drastic improvement can be seen as the last time the two teams met, it was such a one-sided affair that the fans couldn't bear to watch and cream-pies were blasted at the players at the end of a game, by manager Derek O'Leary.

Determined never to have things on their faces again, the players were fired up for this important game. There is a saying that goes, "we can get whooped 20-0 in every game, but we can never lose to ESFC".

Match report will follow soon enough...