Falling To The Occasion

X-S beat Blue Munjens FC 1-0, thanks to BacaNury Sagna's first goal in a long time for the club. It came courtesy of a RonAlidinho corner late in the match, and Sagna was there to power a header in. X-S deserved victory, having numerous missed chances, despite playing well below par.

"A win is a win", says Derek O'Leary who was caught in a half-time brawl with returning club captain, Cesc Fabreyas. The pair were apparently at odds as to what tactics to employ for the second half, especially after seeing the opposing team more keen on passing the ball around in defence. Things cooled down and X-S returned to the pitch to continue their relentless assault on the opposing goal, or something like that.

Eng complained of boredom throughout the match, but he put in a sterling performance alongside Farrell in defence. Fabreyaz commented, "I'm glad we're back to winning. A draw just wouldn't do. Apparently, the team only plays well against good opposition, so we'll see where we go from here."

By the way, his arranged marriage in Thailand wasn't solemnised due to language differences leading to a communication breakdown. He's still single and available ladies. Actually, so is the entire team that played just now, less Just-deep Singh. He's attached to Alyssa Milano, daughter of the owner of Milano's pizza. Just-deep played brilliantly as a full-back just now, despite busy recording his new single entitled "Bhai Bhai Bhai" with his band N*Singh. The song is apparently about brotherhood. We hope to have it as our team song as soon as its released.

Tango Yankee for your attention. Nothing further, out.

Having been banned from speaking to the media till further notice by the team's manager, Ronalidinho refused to comment on the latest defeat of his team. He simply shook his head and was about to walk away. But instead, he told this reporter,

"I cant resist giving my comments. This, despite the Board of Directors threats to ban me for the next three matches should i go against the ban from speaking to the media. I know they wun go to such extent. They need me."

" I know this time we couldnt point the finger at the keeper. Or the weather, which was breezy and shady by the way. Or the lack of substitutes -- we had plenty. Or the pitch, which was preety ok considering yesterday's heavy rain. If u asked me, i think it was the preety girl who made our players less focused than usual.

We knew the odds. Even Boon the bookie didnt accept Bhai the Singh bet of X-S winning!"

When asked about the rumours that a couple of X-S players had placed bets on the team conceding more than 9 goals, the winger gave a shocked face and asked "Who told you?".

When asked about X-S FC's plans for the future,he said "Ive learnt my lesson. Never tell the team's plan to the media. But looking at how players do not know who starts or who subs till the ref blows the whistle, i wun be surprised if we'll ever find out about any plans we might have. All i know is week in week out, i try to improve my game and who knows, one day i'll receive a call from Sir Alex Ferguson. But till then, i'll remain loyal and committed to this team who's like a second family to me."

Defeated. Crushed. Down and out. Someone out there save us.

In the prelude to Super Sunday, Rafarrell Benitez has issued a rallying cry to his players after the disastrous performance 2 weeks ago. It seems the players were not motivated by captain Fabreyaz's rallying squeals, which speaks volumes bout his motivational abilities. "It's time to really stand up and be counted. We've got a strong squad for the game with a couple of new players, who will be looking to prove themselves. The squad's depth is there as well, with 2 or 3 players able to play at each position, giving us some healthy competition. But what has to be said is that, those who don't perform shall be dropped from the first team." Benitez has aimed his comments at his vice-captain, Jamie Farrellgher, who put in a disastrous performance in his last outing alongside Rio FerdinEng.

"I want my strikers to score more goals, the midfielders to continue scoring, and the defenders to start scoring. We can't just rely on Booney, cause one day opponents will realise the trouble he can cause, and start to mark him tightly which would limit our options definitely. Let us kick start Super Sunday with some football to reward our fans for sticking with us. We have the team to hit them hard and they won't know what knocked the daylights out of them."

Rafarrell Benitez has spoken for the first time after the club's 2nd heaviest defeat in it's history. " We played well, and the scoreline gave too much credit to the opponents. In the first half, we were better. We camped in their half and hit the post twice. However, the defence was a total disaster." Rafarrell was seen fuming at his defence which used to be stingy, become a little too generous. "Yes, i am angry. But one of the players, the one with big teeth, made me angrier with his comments to the press ." It was possibly aimed at Ronalidinho, who released match reports to the press, without getting his facts right. Opponents scored first, before Jas "suck" Deep Singh equalised with his wonder goal. And the first half ended 2-1 to the opponents. But the start of the 2nd half saw the kind of football that Benitez has been trying to instil into his players. Straight from the kick-off, the ball was stroked around as the likes of Long, Huda, Yong Xiang ventured into opposition territory. Finally, Thaqif applied the finish with a cooly taken strike from 25 yards out. That's the kind of football champions are made of. But, it was shown only in glimpses.

Ronalidinho angered Benitez again, when he released team tactics and information which was supposed to be confidential. "I can't accept such promiscuous behaviour with the media, and yes he will be punished. The club will send him to the dentist next week." And speaking of tactics, once again, we have crumbled to what we call long ball tactics from the opponent. Considered more effective, but less pleasing to the eye. "We will not employ the use of long balls. No. Never. We did it in the first half. Just that the 2nd half we were hit hard on the counter-attack and long diagonal balls, with everyone pushing up in search for goals. Next thing up, let's look to stamp our authority on the game with our brand of football."

"If God wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there." -Brian Clough

RED has emerged as the champion of colours - at least on the soccer field.


Manchester United's Argentinian forward Carlos Tevez celebrates after scoring a goal during the Champion's League football match against Lyon on 20 Feb, 2008.
A controversial study by UK scientists suggests that teams that wear red are more successful than those which wear yellow, white or blue shirts, reported The Times.

The research was conducted by scientists at Durham and Plymouth universities.

The findings of the study were published in the Journal of Sports Sciences.

BIOLOGICAL RESPONSES

Researchers claim that deep-seated biological responses to colours affect teams' performances.

The study analysed English league results since the Second World War and looked at how teams did when they were at home, wearing their first-choice shirts.

The study found that, of the top 68 sides, teams wearing red won more often at home, while sides in yellow or orange scored the worst.

In games held away from home and where teams tended to wear a variety of colours, there was no difference in performance.

X-S FC 2- 6 CinaBengs Shide : First by the Indians, Now the Chinese

A six goal super show by Team CinaBengs Shide just weeks after being defeated by Team Vasantham re-ignited the debate whether or not a team plays better if they speak one language. Manager Derek O' Leary put himself back in the spotlight as the Maroons were stunned by the 6 goal blitz by the fast Chinese early in the second half. For the first time in club history, the 6 goals were shared equally by 3 goal keepers.

David "Tauhid" James was tested right at the kick off when Swee, the Chinese striker took a shot from the middle of the field. The ball went just over the bar. This Chinese striker went on to score from a free kick to make it 1-0 early in the game. The Chinese made it 2-0 when their fast striker capitalised on a defensive error between keeper and central defender by stealing the loose ball and smashing it home from a tight angle.

Bhai the Singh scored a superb goal from forty yards. The opposition's keeper, back facing the ball, was too engrossed talking a substitute; only to realise that the ball went in after the loud cheer, and laughter from the X-S bench.

"Paiseh. Paiseh. Paiseh." Was all he could say after being &##^@ by his teammates. Yong Tevez (I think) made it 2-2 before the referee blows the whistle for half time. Defender Bacanury Sagna was made to stand between the goal post for the first half of second half as David "Tauhid" James had to rush off to work. He conceded 2 goals in quick succession.

Enough was enough as manager Derek O'Leary was forced to make a substitution in the 55th minute when the manager himself replaced the misplaced defender at the heart of the post. He too conceded 2 goals in quick succession.

Hudi had a good chance when he took a shot from 25 yards only to see the keeper pushed the ball skywards which lobbed towards the goal only to hit the top of the bar. His elder brother Huda too had a couple one decent chance, one of which hit the wodwork from close range. Such precision.

Shahraul came late in the second half. Brilliant movement by Huda on the left saw the defence open up. Huda laid a simple ball for "panache" Shahraul only for his tame effort to be calmly collected by the keeper. Everyone worked their socks off under the hot hot 11 am sun that sunny sunday.

The dying seconds of injury time saw Ali Giggs, who was playing well below his usual game, sent a 50 metres cross-field ball from the left touchline into the 6 yard box only to have Ilhan Manqif miss the goal by a whisker. Michael Carrick would have been proud of that cross. Match ended 6-2.

Match Analysis by match commentator RonALIdinho. The Maroons sorely needs a goalkeeper. It is one thing to lose. But to lose because of goals that could be save by a thorough-bred goalkeeper is another. The scoreline simply does not reflect the team's performance. Kudos to the 3 brave souls who stood between the post. The Board should look into the matter forthwith. Potential targets include young keepers from secondary school or above looking for a team to improve their goalkeeping skills as well as to gain match experience. I repeat myself, we need a keeper lest we want to keep conceding more goals.

Defence line seem to be pushing up to high. Like Team Vasantham, Team Cinabengs Shide played the frequent long balls over the central defence which led to 3 goals being conceded.

Team News: We have a free agent currently on a one month trial with X-S FC given the first priority to sign the player for a 5 year deal. Wei Jia used to play for team AJC as a right back. He used to be the tireless player who runs up and down the right flank to support the attack as well as running back to defend. I was told he was singled out by the coach back in those days when the coach told the team that he wants everyone to play like him, commited and gives his 100%. I believe he would be a good addition to the team. His first 90 minutes for the club went well. Only question is can he prove his worth on a weekly basis.

The team is still missing key players like captain Fabreyaz, stopper Nizarazu, midfield engine ziDaniel. Influential player Booney didnt make the trip in the defeat by Cinabengs Shide.

Something to consider....

A revolution on the cards?



X-S FC managers Yarsene Wenger, Rafarrell Benitez and Derek O'Leary along with new owner Titty Durai have decided to unveil 2 latest acquisitions for the club, to bolster the squad and backroom staff, in every sense of the word. A new assistant manager, who shares a same name as a stinkin' Portugese Manc, has been installed to assist Derek O'Leary in one way or the other. Miss Nani, a Leeds fan, has been offered a one-year contract with a possible extension for life, on the basis that she brings a bevy of Chinese beauties as boardroom staff. This is a request from Benitez, supported by good friend Wenger, but fiercely frowned upon by O'Leary, who believes only men should be hired. We all know why. Hidden sources have revealed that this is a ploy by the club to try and turn manager O'Leary straight. His gay tendencies has been a calming yet disruptive influence on the team.


(Shaun in his Mayon days.)
On the greener side of the grass, X-S would like to welcome former Mayon midfielder, Shaun Kok, to the team. Captain Yazni Alves has been raving about his former team mate and now that he's arrived, we can't wait to see what he has to offer. He is a welcome addition as X-S might be losing players in time to come. More of that next time. Shaun Kok is in no way related to Alvin Kok, the cock who sang a Ronan Keating song on the first Singapore Idol auditions. Alvin if you're reading this, we miss you. May you have a great singing career. X-S is not X-S without a Kok.



As X-S prepare for life without ZiDaniel, Fabreyaz, Woo WeeBecks and possibly Ahlongso and Nanizar, vice-captain Jamie Farrellgher announced that this is the time that players stand up and make themselves counted. He admitted in his Scouse voice, "Its true that we've been lucky in certain matches of late. This cannot happen any longer. We need to prove that we are a team to beat. Although luck favours the brave and Lady Luck smiles upon champions, we must look into the mirror and realise we're not there yet." Defender BacaNury Sagna also added, "I'm sorry guys, I will improve my throw-ins. =)" ShahRaul Gone-zalez as usual, was random as he bellowed, "Tonight we dine in hell!" whilst Huda and Ali did what they do best, smile and act nonchalant.



Following Steven Gerrard's recent outburst regarding Liverpool's fortunes, Fabreyaz launched a similar tirade recently.

"Guys, theres no way we can improve our standard of football if we start doing silly things. Are you happy with 3 goals scored only? Well actually I am, but we can do better. If we cut out the late tackles, complaining about refereeing decisions and teasing the opposition from the bench (which is hilarious I hafta say), I'm sure we can concentrate on playing the beautiful game we preach. All these nonsense has got to stop. We need to stand up and make ourselves counted. Certain players know they can improve, fitness-wise and confidence-wise. Skill comes along the way. Those who need to shape up, just do it. Take a leaf from Farrellgher's book; he has slimmed down. I say all this for everyone and on behalf of everyone in the club. I hope we have a response. Hoping to see you guys for a big match on 30th March when I'm back. Good luck and I'll miss you gays."

HOT HEADS ON A COOL DAY


by Cheryl Foxxy




X-S FC beat CinaBengs with an all-too-familiar scoreline of 3-1 this weekend. The scoreline was flattering for the team as they were playing in a very relaxed mood against a very tense team, who were overly concerned about their ball that was kicked out of the stadium halfway through the second half by the all-too-powerful Nizar. X-S barely stepped up the gear and had enough luck plus some hardcore heroics from Lee W.Liang and Bixente Nizarazu.

The team lined up as such: W.Liang, Farrellgher, Amin, Yazni Alves(C), YongLiango Carlos, Long, Booney, Manqif, Ali Giggs, Pippo Hudaghi and YongXiang Tevez.


Except for a few good inswinging corners, X-S was barely troubled and stamped their class from the get-go. Long and the strikers were getting busy and soon enough, they took the lead through Huda, who tapped in from close range after Long's effort was parried. Farrellgher and Carlos then started a couple of mini-fights that would soon escalate into a full-blown affair.



The second half saw CinaBengs scoring the equaliser with a powerful free-kick after Tauhid committed a foul from his right back position. Just before that, the skipper Fabreyaz was seen screaming at his team for defending like an insane clown posse. This abrupt change was apparently brought about by the introduction of ShahRaul Gone-zalez and Titus Tauhid during the break. However, the team was soon back in business as younger sibling of Pippo, Arrifino Del Piero released Tevez scampering through on goal. The goalie seemed to have caught it but Tevez challenged him and slotted into the empty net. CinaBengs were protesting, but top-ref Pierluigi Hassana would have none of it. A bout of shouting and swearing soon ensued as the X-S bench, led by the brilliant Klakar/ Wayne Booney cheered as Nizarazu cleared the ball out of the stadium. CinaBengs were not happy but the ref said that the ball can always be retrieved after the match.


X-S sealed victory with a stunning solo effort from Sneaky Boon aka Klakar/ Wayne Booney, as he dribbled past a lead-footed defence and slotted the ball in the near-post as the goalie watched in bewilderment. What a way to end a spectacle of a football match.


Manager cum ball picker Derek O'Leary then settled the ball-out-of-the-stadium issue once and for all by retrieving the ball with his Nimbus 1000 bicycle. Nizar wanted to fight the noisy bald-head but everyone lost interest by that time as we were ready to leave the ground.



Player-watch:



Captain Fabreyas insists on taking a picture with vice-captain Farrellgher before he flies off to Thailand for his arranged marriage with a girl named Som. (Note: yellow tape on his wrist is in remembrance of Dan's wrist.)




If its is not lackadaisical Jasdeep, former member of now defunct boyband N*Singh.
He has agreed to lose weight before challenging for a midfield place. He remains a defender.



Nizarazu helping W.Liang steady the goalpost.


Manager Derek O'Leary doing the same, except he must do a gay pose.
(Note: He is an open gay, the first of its kind in the professional footballing scene.)


The Insane Clown Posse who came late, and contributed to the team by conceding the free-kick that led to CinaBengs goal. HAHA.





The Terrible Trio. You wouldn't want them on the same strikeforce.


The tip-top line of defence. Minus Eng and Farrell and Nizar and Derek and many others.


Pierluigi Hassana, world-class referee. Should've carded Farrellgher earlier, but did not.


Sneaky Boon, sneaky as always, appearing only in the corner of this picture. Pictures of him are a rare commodity.



Photos courtesy of youngest Hud brother, HUDOH.