Ultimately, the results of the penultimate matches were the ultimate disappointment. 3 defeats out of 3. Goodness me. Goodness you. Goodness everybody. But still, we faced the 3 strongest team in the league and one of the best excuses that we can have for losing the last 2 was that our numbers dwindled. But that's it. Our first season in competitive football. Finishing 5th ain't that bad. As the saying goes " If you're not first you're nothing.", we've got 6 other teams who are nothing as well just like us so we aren't really that far apart. This is our first year playing together with new players coming in and settling down. And at our best, we haven't even fulfilled our fullest potential.

Important: Those who have yet to transferred 20 bucks to Ferdineng please do it asap. He is starting to become angry and his eyes will start to open. If it opens fully you are dead meat. The club has been hit terribly by the financial crisis and is looking to its players for donations to finance its participation in PlaySports that starts THIS SUNDAY.

Let's look forward to it. Because its a brand new start. Because its a brand new year. Because we rolled over once during a game earlier this year. Because we won't roll over this time.

Penultimate match of the season:

X-S v Y Homeless

LET's PLAY FOOTBALL.

3PM, Cantonment Pitch.

wear WHITE!

Eng and Yasin will be missing due to work commitments. Sorry guys. =)

A match report that is a little late


X-S FC 2
SWAT FC 4


We didn't did not show the ability to compete. Just that they showed that they could compete better. Man of the match Bacanury Sagna put in a ownage, god-like, tip-top class quality performance to chop his name on the right-back slot after having some fierce competition from Cicineo over the past few weeks. Comparing the performance of the 2 tenacious full-backs, Bacanury played like a man on drugs, a man on steroids, a man on top of a girl. Cicineo played like a drunken pandaren brewmaster.

The team was missing Ferdineng who was out after having an operation and will be facing disciplinary action from the club after he committed the following offences:
1) Having a weird mushroom growing from his groin area after unclean sex
2) Was spotted at a nightclub with prostitutes in tow the night after he was discharged
3) Being unable to spell
4) Wearing a hairband

Correction. Ferdineng will not get punished for the first 2 offences. The club actually allows players to lead a risque lifestyle and if you get mushrooms it's your business. Partying is fine too but don't get caught with prostitutes it's embarrassing. BUT we cannot tolerate people who can't spell and try to look girlish.

Enough said. We've got 2 games left. Let's have fun guys!

Dear Team Managers of Los Diablos FC and X-S Football Club:

Please kindly note that the venue and time for your game this weekend has been rescheduled as:

Date: 14/12/2008
Kick Off Time: 1300
Pitch: Bedok Green Secondary

The website has been updated accordingly.

X-S v SWAT

Turf City Pitch 4 (click!)

7 December 2008, 10am

Don't be late guys. and bring water supply cos the pitch is pretty far from water sources. I promise what happened the last time round will not happen again and i as captain will be first to arrive. =)

Please update attendance on the board. We're on our penultimate run of matches for the season. 3 matches against top quality opposition. This is the time we raise our game and prove to OURSELVES that we're more than capable of competing. Let's get crack-a-lackin'.

So for Friday prayers tomorrow let's pray for good weather, a good pitch and a good turnout for us plus lotsa luck. Hee!

XOXO

X-S would like to wish A Happy Harpy Birthday to one

of the original members of the team, Khairul Huda.

May he keep bangin' em in.

To the rest, we'll meet soon for Defense of the Ancients. Mwahahaha.

To begin off Yasin Week, we will let fans and readers in on a dark secret. The secret on how it all started, how he became club captain, and the secret that will change the way people look at our club. This was the exact chain of events that happened, according to camera footages, eye-witnesses and a house-fly spycam used to voyeur at couples in private.
And it all began almost 21 years ago, during a dark and cold lonely December. 3 armed, hairy, masked and fierce looking men were wandering along the halls of a hospital and they walked past the nursery when one of them stopped in his tracks. He stopped the rest of his friends. And they started looking at all the cute babies.

Masked man 1: Hey look at all the babies aren't they cute!
Masked man 2: Yeah man i feel like pinching all of them.
Masked man 3: Hey look one of the cots is empty.
On closer inspection...
1: Hell no it isn't empty there's something moving in it.
2: Yeah it looks kinda black. I wonder what's that.
3: It's a baby! Holy shit.
1: I think he's special. Look at his colour. It's different from the rest.

The television was showing a Liverpool game at that time.

2: Hey look the baby's eyes are glued on the screen! And his legs are moving in circles like he's doing step-overs!

At that moment, Ian Rush scored.

3: He's smiling!
1: Yeah he's happy that Rush just scored! Isn't he cute?
2: Erm..not really he looks kinda weird actually. But i think he's got something special in him.
3: Yeah i kinda felt a weird but strong reiatsu when he smiled. I think he'll go onto great things in future.

The story ends here. The three men couldn't be contacted or reached because no one could see their faces. No one knows who they were. At that time no one knew who that baby was. Fast forward 21 years later and the world is about to see who that baby is. He already has half his name, the letters Y, A, and half of the letter S carved in stone outside the club's stadium. And the uncle who is carving the rest of it has been told to hurry up. Because Yasin Week is here. Stay tuned for more cheesy bites to relieve the stress during exam week.



P.S We forgot to mention that fans should only send to us tributes with nice words and phrases. Entries with love declarations, nude photos with handphone numbers at the back and hate mail full of vulgarities will not be put up on the blog. However, if by next thursday we don't receive enough nice entries, the hate mail will have to go up. The nude photos will remain in Derek's safe possession.

Over at liverpool, it is Steven Gerrard week. X-S FC will be having a week for their beloved captain as well, called Yasin week. It will pay tribute to our dear captain's leadership qualities and how he has worked so hard for the team so far. Please send in short messages and our reporter Nanao-chan will consolidate and post it for all readers. The person who writes the best post will get the prize of a picture of Nanao-chan. Stay tuned!

Despite having a busy schedule trying to cement his place on the dean's list at a certain university, everyone's favourite reporter is back. But today, he is here to introduce a new reporter he has hired who will replace him temporarily and will be taking over reporting duties. Just a short introduction about her, she has a couple of Cs, she has never-ending legs, and she is part of the facebook group "i love brazilian waxing". Inspired by some kind of news where reporters report naked, X-S FC will try out a new form of naked blogging to bring in more fans to this handsome team's handsome blog. Since it's her first time reporting, manager Rafarrell will be on hand to supervise her as she will give us some details about the match while sitting on his lap. And if ever this post cuts off halfway, we know that nature intervened somewhere.



On a bright and sunny sunday morning, X-S FC played Heaven Eleven and won 7-0. They played...

The result doesn't matter. The fighting spirit and the attitude that we needed to show did. We did just that. Let's move on from here. And i'm sure the next game against SWAT FC will be really interesting. But before that, i think each one of us has the urge to unleash something (everyone keep your zanpakutou in your pants, except Derek) against a certain team this sunday.

An honestly serious post

We face a team that just scored 10 goals in their previous game. And Wenger says to "bring balls" which actually means, to bring your guts along. We really need it. The climb up the table starts here. We need to reclaim the top spot that was once ours, but some dicks took it from us. And if we want to be up there, let's face it: The pressure is on us. To play a team like that is really what we need to test ourselves. To see if we have what it takes to be among the best. We have 17 players going tomorrow. And i'll give you 18 reasons why we can win this game.

1) Wei Liang
2) Derek
3) Yong Liang
4) Yong Xian
5) Taka
6) Boon
7) Wee
8) Daniel
9) Bhai
10) Huda
11) Ipen
12) Nuri
13) Eng
14) Shahrul
15) Farrell
16) Shaun
17) Captain Yasin will show his bankai
18) We WILL play as one, show guts, blood and sweat. Because donning the yellow jersey and playing alongside 10 other Happy Harpies has never had so much meaning before.

That's all there is to say. Balls of steel tomorrow. Nothing less.

X-S FC v SWAT FC


Venue: Cantonment Pitch (click!)
Time: Meet up by 12.15pm (don't forget balls and pump!)
Date: 09 November 2008

Update availability guys! Remember we're wearing yellow! and Wayne Booney apparently told Yarsene Wenger that he's fit to play now. Let's see if he turns up first. HAHA.

Let's play football and concentrate on our own performance. 11 on 11 is fair game. Can't wait to see you Happy Harpies on Sunday!

XOXO,

Lucinda Leong.

Lastly there are some who still O$P$
=)
Manager is waiting.

X-S FC 2

FC HO BO?* 0

*translates to "how are you?" in hokkien

A serious match report

It was an encouraging performance by the Harpies after a long break as they played good football, from defence to attack. The chances created were plenty, and the team looked to be in control for most of the game. The midfield and attack closed down well from the front, limiting their chances, and protecting the defence well. Good build up leading to the first goal for Fabreyaz. If you thought that was nice, the second goal was nicer. Habib Bhaiye dribbled in the defence, before sending a tasty ball over the top for Yong Tevez to flick over the keeper. Well done lads. We are in good shape to for our future games, which will get tough (yes, even the one against Heaven Eleven).

And if you think you'll get a serious match report for once, you are so wrong.

A more serious match report

The attacking display on show was also partly due to the introduction of new signing, Adam Apple. A stout young player with good feet, he orchestrated many attacks, particularly in the second half when Fabreyaz was on the bench checking out the opposing team's physiotherapist. Similarly to the club's previous signing, Ah Neh, Adam Apple has established himself as a crowd favourite among the Harpy faithful, with the male fans in one united voice singing, " we've only got one Adam Apple". He added much more thrust and penetration to the team, not that we aren't able to thrust and penetrate, but sometimes we like doing it with more people around.

Our reporter caught up with Yarsene Wenger in the tunnel after the game and managed a delightful interview.

Reporter: Hi there Mr. Wenger!

Yarsene: Hey reporter yo!

Reporter: What is your reason for changing the captain of your team every game?

Yarsene: At X-S FC we believe in giving every player the opportunity to be a leader. We are more than a club. And that's why we send our players to universities to study in case they don't make it in soccer.

Reporter: I see. Why didn't Fabreyaz play in the second half?

Yarsene: He really wanted to ogle at the physiotherapist and jack off and pleaded with me really badly so i agreed. I believe that the team has strength in depth and can cope without the presence of Fabreyaz occasionally.

Reporter: How was Woo Wee Beck's performance today? You took him off after awhile.

Yarsene: He had an outstanding game despite the short cameo. We are slowly easing him back to full fitness. But he played really well. That professional foul was what really changed the game. If he didn't, i'm cock sure the player would have dribbled past the entire defence to score. He has great foreskin..i meant foresight that young man.

Reporter: Thanks for your time! By the way could you get the management to take down the raunchy pictures of Derek O'Leary outside the stadium? They scare the crap out of all the little young boys.

Yarsene: Sure thing. I'll get them taken down and pasted on the walls of my room.

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus. Neither does the one behind.

Virgins.

Man of the match. And the next captain.

X-S FC has been hit by the global credit crunch and the club is in chaos!

"Beer tycoons (i can't remember their names) have pulled out of the club, leaving the club finances in disarray and the inability to compete in the money-consuming ESPZEN. They will instead participate in a lower level league. However, we have managed to persuade the beer tycoons to leave behind their magical beer-making kettle to satisfy the alcoholics in the team." said a club spokesperson, after Fabreyaz leaked news that the club will not be taking part in top flight football anymore.

Fans are really angry with the recent lack of matches and feel that they aren't getting their money's worth from season tickets.
"I hope their dicks shrink!" said one male fan, pointing at a picture of Rafarrell Benitez and Yarsene Wenger.
"Fucking cunt!", said another male fan, while vandalising a raunchy picture of Derek O'Leary, outside the stadium.
"He's hawt!", purred a female fan, pointing at the picture of poster boy Woo Wee Becks with one hand, and the other in her skirt.

For now, let's look forward to seeing each other again this saturday, where we will take our brand of football to Braddell pitch, and erm, try our best to win. Just remember, the team doesn't need anything, except the Scouse spirit. And i thank you for reading this.

P.S The location and venue is below, so:
1) Read it
2) Do some soul-searching and decide if you can play
3) Pick your phone up
4) Text either " Yes my dick will be down there this sunday" or " No my dick will be in some hole i can't play" to
whoever you've been receiving messages from. I'm talking about either Farrell or Yasin, not the Thai prostitute.

Okay guys check this out. Farrell and I are registering in this league which starts next January. ESPZEN is swallowing our money WHOLE so we thought what the hell la, just play this cheaper league. Got PRIZE MONEY too.

So those required to transfer me SGD20 for our last ESPZEN payment (thank goodness), please do so by tonight or ASAP as I am not your personal bank. Heh heh.

Farrell has willingly volunteered to pay the 100 deposit for Playsports league registration and we'll collect the money as soon as Farrell needs it. =)

Okay next week match:

1pm

FC HoBo

2 NOVEMBER 2008

At Braddell Pitch (click here)

We've got to derust abit so be there by 12noon so we can sort ourselves out early and play our game when required. I believe Shaun will want to talk tactics. Haha. Report availability ASAP please. Thanks.

p.s. Liverpool is home at the top.

Happy Birthday to all our October Baby Harpies namely Wayne Booney, Habib Bhaiye, Mashaunrano, Ronalidinho and AnandConda. Many happy returns!

Now ESPZEN is asking whether we wanna continue playing in the league next season. Starts in Jan i believe. Can i have some feedback on this? Thanks.

Update:





ESPZEN FINAL Payment of SGD 300 is due. DAMN, give us a break already.





Dear ALL Sunday League Season 9 Teams:


Please be reminded that your 4th installment will be due on 27th October 2008. I would suggest that for teams collecting money from their members to start collecting as soon possible to ensure that you have enough funds before the due date.

Please note that once you have made the payment to send your payment details (Team Name, Date of Payment, Amount Paid and Mode of Payment) to finance@espzen.com so that Mae can reconcile your payment in our records. Thanks! J

Best Regards,
Tong








Next thing is matches shall resume this weekend. Voila. Cesc Fabreyas is injured.


And here are the pics from his open house. Huda and Ipen came early.

Halal Party Event of the Year!








xoxo,

Gossip Harpy.

In the mid-season friendlies, the fans were treated to two mouth-watering defeats. First against a team that should we should have whooped 20-0, and another against a team of friendly mats, something we shouldn't come across ever in our lifetime.

"For the first game i told the team i wanted them to play passing. Apparently they aren't very bright and they played a whole new different game." said Rafarrell. For the second match the team fared better as the players had a week to mull over the words "play passing" and finally realised it actually means to pass the ball around. As a result, X-S FC spread the ball around as easy as spreading the legs of horny sluts, or Derek's legs, for that matter. Female fans were whistling, cheering and lifting up their skirts and undies(some were bushy, a small handful had triangular tufts, another few were hairless, while majority had dicks) every time Woo Wee Becks got the ball and they pray so hard that he will score his first goal for the club. Bookie.com has set the odds for him to ever score a goal at 1/100000, even higher than Weiliang's odds of 1/1000.

With the year coming to an end, and the club's most prestigious award, the Players' Player of the Year award being awarded to Woo Wee Becks, the club has revealed the official list of awards that will be awarded to their loyal players and fans:

Hottest fan: Jessica Alba

Top goalscorer(kicking the ball into the net) award: Yong Tevez

Fans' Player of the Year: Fabreyaz. for wearing nice socks.

Male Fans' Player of the Year: Takashi. Landslide victory against Cicineo. They just love japanese gay ass.

Parents' Player of the Year: Undecided because all parents vote for their son.

Grandparents' Player of the Year: Same reason as the abovementioned.

Player Who Scored the Most(note the difference): Unrevealed due to privacy reasons.

Player Who Looks Skillful Without Even Kicking a Ball: Cicineo.

Best Sikh Player: The one and only. Something to keep him happy.

Blackest Player: Tie between Fabreyaz, Bacanury Sagna and new signing, AhNeh.

Sexiest Player: Farrellgher

Most Charming Player: Farrellgher

Most Charismatic Player: Farrellgher. Ladies, it's mating season all year round for this amazing gentleman.



There you have it. Awards given out in recognition of the efforts put in by the brave young men. At this club, we believe in rewarding hard work. For now, lets miss each other and look forward to the final fixtures. The final lap guys. Might seem a little difficult cause we ain't perched nice and comfy anymore. Friendlies will still be arranged. Try to make it cause we still need to keep our engines running and to be tip-top and ready when the games start coming again. We will be ready for this tough test. Espzen, here we cum. Ugh.

Friendly match on Sunday 12 October 2008, 9AM kickoff

at Fuchun Secondary. Yellow jersey.

Please confirm attendance ASAP. Thanks.


p.s. if anyone pang seh, Derek is gonna make his dick real hard and put it in the hole in your face.

Exclusive!
Interview with Woo Wee Becks.

Reporter: So Becks, we've seen you start the last friendly and you look to be slow. Any reasons why?
Woo: Its because...
Reporter: It doesn't matter to us actually. So are you ready to get back to your best, swingin' your balls round the back? (not of your girlfriend) And scoring goals for X-S?
Woo: It would be...
Reporter: Okay nevermind. Actually my main question is, which is better: scoring for X-S or scoring with a girl?
Woo: I don't know. I don't think I've done either.
Reporter: And there you have it folks, straight from the muff of X-S Players' Player of the Year for 6 successive seasons.

Til' we meet again.

First things first, we go to war in our full yellow kits on sunday. Drunkards are allowed.

For those who aren't going to Fabreyaz's crib on saturday, you're missing out on the biggest party event of the year. On the annual partying events calendar, this date will always be marked out first. Party-goers can expect chicks, and erm, everything else including free-flow rendang, bryani, satay and ketupat. It's a chance to rub shoulders with the rich and famous, from movie stars to footballing stars to i-see-stars to pornstars. Players who want to know how our new owners look like can try to spot them (Hint: They don't shave their ass). Alcoholics can get their dosage from the booth outside his place, for this grand mansion is a smoke-free and alcohol-free zone. Infringe that and the Flobots will send a missile by satellite. Enough of bull, now for the serious stuff.

The lesson we all need to learn today and spend a little time on is right below:


The team is only as strong as the relationships within it.


Spend some time on it. Think of it when you sleep, smoke and wank. But please don't overwork your puny brain cause we know how small it already is and a little too much brain cell activity can kill off your remaining cells, turning you into a vegetable. Fans who think they are smart, please email us your views at the same address, happyharpies@yourmotherdownstairs. As usual, you know the rules. Shave it. The one who gives the best insight into this will stand a chance to win a pair of one-way tickets to Wonderland, where you can meet Alice, the Mad Hatter, and the Cheshire Cat. Players who want to earn marks for class participation can tag at the tagboard.

MATCH@ WOODGROVE SECONDARY SCHOOL

DATE & TIME: SUNDAY 9AM

JERSEY: TO BE UPDATED BY FARRELL

*HARI RAYA INVITATION TO CESC FABREYAS' CRIB extended to all X-S players. THIS SATURDAY, NOON ONWARDS. BEST IF THE TEAM CAN COME TOGETHER AT ONE GO. YEOWZA. RSVP. HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE. ANY QUERIES CAN CALL/ SMS.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

MATCH REPORT

here.

Friendly games are round the corner in October to psyche us up for the next phase of league matches. For now, work hard, study hard, and take care of ourselves. We'll be seeing each other again in due time, no worries.

Anand and Adam (Ipen's friend) may be joining us. Two wingers who'll add depth and dimension to the play. Interesting, I might add. We've already had two new signings, Woo Wee Becks who played at left back and made a good throw-in on his return cameo. That was his only contribution. =D

Guys, those who were more keen on earning free-kicks from the ref and not playing the game in the previous match, should re-look our priorities. Its not the way to play. Midfielders have gotta close down faster. ALOT faster. Most of us were off our game in the last match. Competition for places is stiff, and only 11 can be on the field at any one time. Its not easy to pick players as everyone deserves their chance. So don't be too disheartened from this. Just do your best for the team everytime you pull on the jersey.

Anyways, I think 6YardBox should just sponsor us to play football for them. Haha. =)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

HOLA!

Next Match v La Cosa Nostra

Venue: Clementi Stadium

Date: 21 September 2008

Time: 1pm

PLEASE UPDATE AVAILABILITY and prepare 40 dollars for 3rd league payment. Especially those who were not required to pay the second payment. Thanks.

9 brave yang men FC 2
ZHSS 3

It was brilliant. 9 against 11. The team played brilliantly with slick passing and the confidence to play soccer like how our grandfathers taught us to play. Ferdineng was there again rallying his troops like how a lieutenant should, and the number of times the offside trap worked can't be counted with your fingers and toes and even with your father's fingers. The team welcomed back Wayne Booney as he was given a runabout due to a lack of players, after Ferdineng shouted for him from the field with his new and improved loudhailer. We will now start playing with 9 players because it makes the offiside trap easier to control, more excitement for the fans, and there'll be an excuse for losing. Cheers!

Back to being happy as The Happy Harpies,

X-S FC would like to wish their Dutch goalkeeper Wei Liang Van Besar, Brazilian full-backs Yongberto Carlos and Sissyneo and Turkish striker Colin-Hazim Richards a Happy Birthday and many happy returns. May one more year's wisdom be an aide in your purposeful exploration of this adventure called Life.

The match report for today's friendly will be updated by some munjen. soon i suppose. =)

For the next match, a very non-Muslim line-up can be expected.

Preferably, WL Eng Far Bhai YL Shaun Taka WJ Daniel YX and of course Derek as lone striker. We can also expect danger twins YAo Bleng and WEEmp Meng to make starring cameos, whether they like it or not. What matters is the fans can expect a very Muslim and religious bench of thirsty and hungry yet energetic brown (and black) boys. What happens from there, only God knows.

Back to more serious issues, ESPZEN payment is due on 22nd September. If i'm not wrong, its a truckload of money. So those who have paid less than they've played and those who are ever-present for the games please prepare your money.

On top of that, theres the missing jersey money mystery. Hazim, Hafiz, Thaqif and Naqib said they have paid Daniel the money on our first match at MJC against 6 Yard Box, but Daniel doesn't seem to remember. I understand if you all couldn't give a damn cos its NOT YOUR money anyways, and you could say "don't make your problem my problem". But please give me a hand, I've been advancing all the fucking payments and until now some of you have not paid me back. My bank account's drying up to be honest, cos recently my bike skidded and cracked, and I've gotta pay for that. So pleases, can someone suggest to me how we can settle this issue fairly. Or at least if any of you actually witnessed them paying or anything like that. If not can we just spilt the cost, as unfair as it sounds?

I'm almost done letting off steam, in the most controlled manner possible. I'd appreciate all your input guys. And thanks to all those who've paid up with no hassle.

Last but not least, let's keep our good football flowing when we rape the pitch in Clementi Stadium come 2 weeks time.

The female reporters have got their juices flowing, both creative and erm, other kinds and will now provide us with some tasty news.

Man-of-the-match Ferdineng turned in a fine performance after the club's appeal to FIFA to allow him to play with a loudhailer. Fans could finally hear his voice and they were also treated to a rare glimpse of his eyes as he commanded the defence immaculately and was totally unbeatable. It seems he has decided to clean up his act and will leave his partying days behind him. Yarsene Wenger's decision to put striker Fizo at left back seems to be paying off after good performances from the rock-like player, who plays like a rock and is built like one. The fullback position has never been more crowded, and now with the return of Yongberto Carlos, holy shit.

Mashaunrano's new tactic paid off and it seems he has discovered something new that might just change the face of football tactics on the entire planet. Overall, a win that was long overdue. Good performance from everyone.

Is it timeout for manager Jose Booninho after his abscence coincided with a win? What is the secret tactic we employed? Are we gonna win the league? Is Ferdineng's loudhailer loud enough? Fans, we want your views. Shut your mouth and email to happyharpies@yourmotherdownstairs.com . If your mail bounces means it's time to shave your ass.

The mid-season break has coincided with Derek O'Leary's birthday and the club will plan a sleazy party. Male strippers required for the birthday boy. Interested people can email us your resume as well.

In the meantime, Jason Myaz rocks my ankle socks.

XengShiong FC 2
FC Hobo 0

Well done gays. Match report will be up once the reporters get some creative juices. And no making fun of our team name or calling of names. We are petty. We get angry. And then we win the game.

X-S FC v HoBo FC


Date: 31/08/2008, Sunday

Kick Off Time: 1100hrs

Pitch: Woodlands Ring Sec School Field

Okay guys, this is our last match before a 2-3 week hiatus in the footballing scene. Keep yourselves in the zone through futsal and street soccer or other games. Let's end with a bang so we can rest well and not lag too far behind shall we?

Locations seems good, hopefully weather on that day is fine. We've got football to play. Update your availability by smsing me/ farrell or tagging on the board please. Thank you.

Rafarrell Benitez has jumped to the defence of his vice-captain following reports that Jamie Farrellgher lacks commitment and dedication. " It was a tactical decision on my part to take him off as i could see he was tiring, and to replace him with Daniel Alves to keep our engine room running tip-top hip-hop. No we're not having a tiff, in fact, we still do alot of things together. Never will i doubt Farrellgher's commitment to the cause especially after he scored his first ever goal for the club at the end of the stadium facing some Yishun blocks. I knew he would have given the fans a 21 gun salute if he had the cannons with him, he has reduced his alcohol consumption and number of ladies who will spend the night with him on days before games, and will proceed to sign a contract with the club that will keep him a Harpy, a happy one hopefully, until the day his feathers fall off."

Female fans, rejoice.

X-S played a great match today, although the fans are still puzzled by the substitution of star defender Jamie Farrellgher. Was it a lack of dedication to the cause? Has he been tired by excessive co-curricular activities? Or is there a rift between Rafarrell and Farrellgher?





X-S is also a team that enjoys beautiful football that they play a more eloquent and DESTRUCTIVE passing game than Arsenal Football Club, however, only in defence. This adds to the excitement of the fans and raises the entertainment value of the club's matches. We hope to increase our TV rights revenue through this style of football.





Naqib pulled off some excellent saves to keep X-S in the game today. Huda's contribution was excellent, and the fans were left wanting more. Hafiz earned a MOTM for his sturdy display as fullback, even Bosingwa would've been proud. Eng and Amin did enough to hold their own, but the defence still needs to communicate more. TiTTy Durai has promised to buy every defender in the team a Nokia Communicator for every word they speak. The only time silence is accepted in an X-S FC match is before it.

Last but not least, the honorary MOTM goes to Derek Neo for his fabulous hair. The mohawk attracted the attention of Club Director Erwan, who said Derek was an excellent footballer at half-time. When he finally played in the second half, he definitely justified the lavish praise. Great job at fullback.





The calm before the storm; The Loudest Silence.


Put in picture here:



SHHH. We'll be back next week.

In view of the recent bad run, club management has decided to take action on some of the players after photos of Ferdineng leaving a club in the wee hours with a bevy of ladies right before a game was splashed on The Harpy Times. The club has issued an official warning to Ferdineng and his position as Party and Call-Girls OIC will be in jeopardy as he has not performed his role satisfactorily and has kept the ladies to himself. Management has given some strict instructions and expects the players to follow.
1. Players are advised to be in bed by 11pm on days before games.
2. Alcohol and drugs are not encouraged. Breathalyser test to be conducted before games to check alcohol levels.
3. Wanking is prohibited. Sex is totally fine.
4. Steroids are encouraged. Officials have been bribed to ignore X-S FC players for urine tests after games.

Twice we encountered bad referees. No worries. A secret agent has been instructed to bribe the referee this sunday. If he doesn't favour us, we will abuse him from the bench.

Date: 24/08/2008
Kick Off Time: 1300
Pitch: Orchid Park Secondary School

power la! near my house sia. can leopard crawl and still reach. HAHAHAHA.

okay who's in for the crunch match!? we need everyone at their best. no pussies on the field for this one. update availability people!

and OWE MONEY, PAY MONEY bitches. you know who you are. if you don't, let me know and i will remind you. hoho.

Hey guys,

Its our second defeat in a row. We better not get used to it. Honestly, the smallest and simplest things made the world of difference in both games. 3-2 was a narrow loss that we truly deserved last week for losing our head, such as that penalty conceded. Poor defending too.

This time round, I honestly think the most of the team wasn't running enough. No need to apologise Shaun, I think we ALL played rather poorly. Wei Jia was trying on the right. So was Hafiz. Nuri improved. But the rest weren't up to the usual standards. I would be the first to say I wasn't playing properly either. I think we can all reflect if this is how we want things to continue for all the money we've paid and will continue paying to compete. We've got a couple of injuries now so I hope the remainder of the squad can come for the games.

Let's play with our brains and run with our hearts for the remaining matches. If the ref is biased or the opponents dirty, theres nothing we can do but play on. And play on we shall, from here.

xoxo,
3

X-S FC v 6YardBox FC

Date: 10/08/2008
Kick Off Time: 1100
Pitch: First Toa Payoh Secondary School

Directions can be found here.

The pitch is very similar to the one at Bedok Green, so we know what we have to do in defence eh?

As usual guys, 1030am reporting time. Bring both kits. Lotsa patience and water. Leave your hotheads at home. Singles are to be executed on Bhai multiple times. Revenge shall be sweet.
Let's play for 3 points again my friends.

All the important and vital updates of THE KUALA LUMPUR TRIP OF THE CENTURY shall be made on Facebook. Do check that out soon. =)

K also please just confirm availability either on the ESPZEN website using your player log-in or smsing either Farrellgher or Fabreyas. ThankewZ.

x0x0.

X-S FC aka Bukkake FC 5
Heaven Eleven 0

Pundit Kok was spot on with his predictions, namely a Nataka special and a Yong hat trick. The special was more of a half-special as the keeper allowed the ball to slip through his fingers. Yong had a nice hat-trick and is currently the division's most dangerous hitman. Hazim-Richards scored after some nice link-up play. Overall, the malay kids did well, the japanese was tired, one chinese did particularly well, but the singh and turkish were missing. Top of the league with a good goal difference. All guns blazing. Except those in Blazing Salvo.

Coming up next: The 6 yarders
Bad first game with them. Let's hope they ain't that sore again. And when they fall they don't get injured.

3rd August 2008
X-S v Heaven Eleven

PUB Pitch

Please bring both your all white and all yellow kits cos I believe the opponents will be wearing all black. Goalkeepers take note. Be there by 1030am for warmups. Punctuality is key, since we have a job to do. Leave your arrogance and showboating at home, we only want football and goals. Mild overconfidence is advisable, in moderate amounts. Belief is vital. BASICALLY just be on time or else we can't warmup properly cos the pitch is heeeuge from what I've heard.

Understood, you Malay kids? And Chinese kids. And Japanese man. And Turkish wannabes.

WAGs and fans are encouraged to come (as in be present, not any other meaning, please. *rolls eyes*) and be entertained. and take some photos DUH.


YAYSSS SOZZ EXCITINGXXX!

Here we go!

X-S FC just beat La Cosa Nostra 6-2 to perch atop Division 10 after 2 games.

LATEST ESPZEN NEWS UPDATE:

A new team by the name of Saint West Angel Team FC (SWAT FC) has joined Division 10 and thus, it means that we'll be playing them twice in due time. That makes 14 league matches in total. No rest guys!

Match Reports for every match can be read from here.

Dear members of X-S FC, you can log-on to the ESPZEN website to update your profile and update your match availability by clicking here. Please do so to assist in the smoother management of the team. Your password and user ID can be requested from manager Yarsene Wenger.

All in all, a pretty good performance just now. I like the attitude and spirit. The energy and no more stupid comments from neither the players nor the bench. And please for goodness' sake, bring both kits dammit! It doesnt even weigh more than your boots you bitches.

Gear up for next week, okay you bunch of Malay kids? ;)





Pictures (courtesy of Esther Longoria, who's taking a break from advertising Magnum Ice Cream):




Fabreyas slots the penalty home. 1-1.


Farrellgher closes him down.


Our colourful goalie, who needs Bhai's moobs to cushion the ball better.


Qivo assaulted, and the culprit is sent off.


He still manages to take a hell of a free-kick.

The Happy Harpies.

It's about peaking at the right time..so says Master Yoda

3 draws in the last 3 games doesn't bode well for a team gunning for honours. The winless streak coincides with the absence of Ferdineng, comes after a winning streak, and it's a handful of days to ESPZEN. But, we look at the positives, we shall.

1 defeat from 9 games? Against arguably one of the better teams around and dominating the 2nd half to the extent that spectators thought we won the game?

And yes, most importantly, the strikers are starting to hit the form. Yong Tevez tops the scoring chart, Hafizo pops in with 2 goals, and Colin Hazim-Richards shows he has power and pace. The increase in attacking prowess of the team arrives when the defence is currently at it's frailest. God knows what it'll be like when both are peaking. Which comes to the topic of reaching our peak.

Sports science shows that it ain't good to be performing at your best right before a tournament. And that's that cause Yoda knows best. He knows that the team plays well against better opponents, and poorly against a bunch of gay men (Say:" That was definitely a foul!" in the sissiest tone you can, with arms held high above your head and a face like you tasted the world's nastiest pussy).

We start from the lowest league. And it's proven by Flo Rida you don't get any lower than low low low low low.

ESPZEN Division 10

First Match: X-S FC vs 6YardBox Football Club
Venue: Meridian JC
Time: 1100

The fixtures and everything else will be on the ESPZEN website soon. Can everybody confirm attendance ASAP? Thanks guys.

We'll need a Match Report Writer soon. Position will be delegated by Saturday if no volunteers are found. This is an honourary position, believe me. =)

Please make payment of $18 for your Away jersey which will be collected this Saturday and distributed this Sunday. Details will be SMS-ed.

Match Reports for the last 2 matches are also welcomed. Anyone please update if free. Haha.

Amin is unavailable for this week's match, so let's pray for a speedy recovery of our ill-fated defence's ankles, namely Yongberto, Farrellgher and Ferdineng. Because without Nizarazu, I'm sure nobody wants to see Jose Yasingwa in central defence. This problem has highlighted that we might need one new addition to the team, because of the shortage of central defensive cover.

That said, having David "Woo" Weekham back will be like a new signing for us.

There have also been reports that X-S are lining up to sign the blackest attacker in Yishun but so far it has been unfounded.

Thats the latest news update for The Happy Harpies. 3 draws in the last 3 matches would mean a burning hunger for a win in the next. At least, thats what we all hope for.

Finally, we will only be playing 12 matches in the upcoming season and these is the league we're in:
X-S Football Club
La Cosa Nostra Football Club
6YardBox Football Club
Heaven Eleven FC
Los_Diablos Football Club
Y Homeless Football Club
FC Hobo

Let's guaran-DAMN-tee that that is where our team name will remain on the league standings at the end of the season.

*ssshhhhhh*

Complacency In Excess, X-S

X-S lived up to their billing as a team that falls to the occassion, as they lost a comfortable 3-1 lead to draw 3-3 with Sheraton Hotel Team. Yarsene Wenger was seen fuming mad, as the players just refused to communicate and decided to run the show themselves. Shrieks of "possession lah!" from Rafarrell Benitez also fell on deaf ears as the players continued to play passes that even a horse cannot chase. Jose Booninho observed that the penalty conceded from Farrellgher's handball was a result of a lack of communication between players. Derek O'Leary is too busy organising matches for next weekend to comment. His Asst Manager Nani was too busy gossipping with the WAGs.

However, nobody can take away a great performance culminating in a brace for Yong Tevez. His exquisite chip over the defender with his right foot before slotting coolly into the corner with his left was oozing class and confidence. So was his lob over the goalkeeper. Fabreyas tapped in the third from a goalmouth scramble.

Man-of-the-Match goes to Koji NaTaka who broke up play in the middle and surged forward at every opportunity, which made the referee reminisce of the times Nazri Nasir was the heartbeat of the Singapore National Team.

The Board of Directors are not going to take anymore shit performance from the players and there must be a marked improvement in the next match. We hope to have our players back from injury in time for next week's Solid Saturday and Super Sunday matches, as X-S will be playing on both days to train up for the upcoming league.

JOSE BOONINHO, NO RESERVATIONS

Regarding x-sfc recent 2-1 loss to Fake Madrid, caretaker manager of the day, Jose Booninho feels that inspite of the defeat, the players can feel proud of their second half performance. If we can play every match like the way we did in the second half, then we can... win anything u like ah.

The 2 goals conceded were both rather similar. The striker broke the offside trap and on one-on-one situations, managed to creap the ball past our goalie Lee Woon Jae into goal. As mentioned by Nanizar, these kinda goals can be prevented. Our goalies will be attending a training session with our GK coach, Grederek Coupet asap. Mashuanrano scored his first goal for the club, and it was a masterpiece, as he cleverly placed his shot into the bottom right hand corner. Midfielders Fabreyas, Daniel de Rossi and Taka Michinoku (i can't think of anything, help!) should attempt more shots at goal as well.

Well, overall, theres alot to be happy about the performance. However, Booninho feels that theres still alot of room for improvements. Heres the list:
1) It seems like Ferdineng and Farrellgher will be the mainstay of the defence. If possible, none of them should be taken off midway during matches.
2) As pointed out by Nizarazu, our players should make more off the ball movements. Many of us (including Klakar i admit) likes the ball played to our feet, but thats not always possible. Learn to run into space and call for balls.
3) Communication is sooo basic, but we are still seeing team mates going for the same ball. Why why why why why?

Actually there are so many more areas to improve on, so guys, if u have any suggestion, feel free to drop a msg at the tagboard. The board of directors will look into it, and the best post stands a chance to win something. Something, that is good.

Lastly lets all pray for Ferdineng and Klakar's speedy recovery from injuries.

And to Woo Wee Becks, a happy birthday to u, our fans fav at the age of 21 come 7th july.

Oh yah and not forgetting special thanks to all WAGS who turn up for the last match.

And again, daniel de rossi suggested a training session this sat, prob late afternoon evening time. Venue, any pri sch field. Opinions on that, pls tag.

X-S Got Faked

Fake Madrid did just enough to see off the challenge of X-S with a score of 2-1, where each team dominated each half respectively. It was a tight game, with chances coming fast and furious, topped with a beautiful curling effort from star midfielder MaShaunrano which was X-S only saving grace. I shall let Jose Booninho do the match analysis.

Nizarazu however had 3 things to comment to captain Fabreyas, being mainly tighter marking, more off-the-ball movement and goalkeeping. X-S has to improve on this performance, seeing that ESPZEN begins on 20th July. Away jerseys have to be prepared by someone. Next week's friendly, can someone handle it?

"My apologies to everyone I've screamed at and scolded in every match, but its just the competitive nature I have in me. I hope you guys understand," explained captain Fabreyas.


Photos:




The above 2 pics are courtesy of Esther Longoria, who demanded in all her diva-ness to have them posted on the blog. Its not narcissm on my part really. Haha.



Halftime team talk which changed the game.


Jose Booninho, new Inter Milan manger.



A sleepy substitutes bench perhaps?


Rio Ferdineng was always bound to model with his chiseled good looks and tall height,
but who'd believe camera-shy WAGs? They were probably disgusted by the photographer, BacaNuri Sagna.



Team photos. Farrell's a bitch for smiling when everyone is not, vice versa.






Til' next time mates. And speedy recovery to Ferdineng for his swollen ankle, sustained while stopping his opposite number in full flight.

Aloha Loyang Chalet.

X-S team hangout.

for all those who came and made it possible.

aww, there were the couples...

joga bonito. 2 a side soccer.

yes, and there were 3 guys on the rooftop.

a night of mahjong and PS2.

but at the end of the day,

we were just shagged.

match sunday fake madrid.

get over your hangover guys.

O$P$

anw, shoutout to nizar and nuri. happy birthday.