The female reporters have got their juices flowing, both creative and erm, other kinds and will now provide us with some tasty news.

Man-of-the-match Ferdineng turned in a fine performance after the club's appeal to FIFA to allow him to play with a loudhailer. Fans could finally hear his voice and they were also treated to a rare glimpse of his eyes as he commanded the defence immaculately and was totally unbeatable. It seems he has decided to clean up his act and will leave his partying days behind him. Yarsene Wenger's decision to put striker Fizo at left back seems to be paying off after good performances from the rock-like player, who plays like a rock and is built like one. The fullback position has never been more crowded, and now with the return of Yongberto Carlos, holy shit.

Mashaunrano's new tactic paid off and it seems he has discovered something new that might just change the face of football tactics on the entire planet. Overall, a win that was long overdue. Good performance from everyone.

Is it timeout for manager Jose Booninho after his abscence coincided with a win? What is the secret tactic we employed? Are we gonna win the league? Is Ferdineng's loudhailer loud enough? Fans, we want your views. Shut your mouth and email to happyharpies@yourmotherdownstairs.com . If your mail bounces means it's time to shave your ass.

The mid-season break has coincided with Derek O'Leary's birthday and the club will plan a sleazy party. Male strippers required for the birthday boy. Interested people can email us your resume as well.

In the meantime, Jason Myaz rocks my ankle socks.