Yarsene Wenger to go for broke in the next game

X-S Manager Wenger is planning to go all-out in the offensive after studying the Playsports League Table. Currently, his team has the second stingiest defence but also the worst scoring record in the league. Goals were never the problem in ESPZEN and its been highlighted that the strikers morale have been affected. This plus a recent drop in the form of Fabreyas in central midfield for the National team means that changes are abound.

Yarsene is also planning to discuss this in length with his fellow managers, after his assistant Nuri Faria reported the going-ons in his absence the previous match. Big "Bhai" Sukalari (translated in malay as "like to run") took managerial post for the last league game and looked a good steady replacement for X-S since being sacked by Chelsea FC. His 15million compensation could build us a stadium, plus his nights of poker at his current Hall of Residence is earning his a steady income. Hopefully he channels these funds to paying his debts to the team and team-mates.

Yarsene spoke to this reporter in his French accent, loosely translated as "When I opened a window and the breeze rolled in, I JIZZED IN MY PANTS." We're still not sure what that means but the spectators should be in for a treat for the coming league match.

New acquisition striker Emile Juskey has opened his scoring account at a time when every other X-S striking option is on a barren run. Will they be inspired by this big, bungling, goal-scoring striker? It remains to be seen.

Pray tell there will be a friendly this weekend to keep the fitness and sharpness up. Anyone with suggestions for locations and field kindly let us know. TK Chinese are waiting in the wings.

DAS DINGO!