Dear friends and members of X-S FC,

I'm sure that you've missed the great off-field antics and sometimes great football that we, the Happy Harpies, dish out every weekend.

I am therefore, glad to announce that we have confirmed two matches for the next two Sundays with very promising opponents. This will be a great acid test for our team if we are to stay gay.

This Sunday, most of us will be returning to our former home ground of our glory days and when Woo Wee Becks was still whipping them round the back for Nizar to head hat-tricks in every game. Anderson Secondary School, 9am. We will be playing against (quote) "a team that has no shape or form, hence called Team Liquidity" which consists of the core of Fake Madrid FC.

The following week, we will re-visit the Yishun field that has a cage around it. Also 9am. I'll update the details again. It is against a military team, headed by Captain Zad, our captain's uncle. We can expect a fierce encounter.

Everybody please update your availability ASAP, thank you very muchos, nachos. Libre.

Sekian, Salam sejahtera. Cai cian!

When all you guy NUSdents are done with your exams, there's gonna be a very exciting activity...

HIGH-STAKES POKER

Details to be confirmed...

Register now!

19th April


1500


Clementi Woods Secondary


X-S FC vs Team Tsubasa


geared up and ready to single by 1430


bring yellow AND white





The game before our long break. The game to break away from the bottom three. The game that will be our vice-captain's last. The game will be at Clementi Woods. Nao hia. After 2 games that got postponed at Clementi Woods, will it be third time lucky? No one knows. After last week's win, how will the team respond? No one knows. Tsubasa's league position is really misleading and they are a good team. So there'll be no room for complacency. We shall all give a 01 x full effort tomorrow and all you NUSdents can go study for your exams. We SMUdents will be passing on our luck to those taking exams, don't give up, the finishing line is just over the horizon. teehee.

MIS-SINGH PLAYER ALERT

Last seen on friday by Ferdineng. His gay buddy Ram misses him and is on the verge of tears. If you see him, don't hesitate to give him a kick up the balls.

X-S FC Clinches A Hard-Fought Victory!


X-S beat WR to maintain their fight to finish second in the league. Without certain players who were busy with exam preparations or getting hungover from the night before, X-S started with a relatively inexperienced side in defence. Jamie Farrellgher partnered Daniel Alves in the middle of the park flanked by Qivo and MaShaunrano. Fizo and Yongxiano "Torres" spearheaded the attack. Nuri partnered Eng with Neosingwa (Sissyneo ceases to exist as Derek played a most fantastic match) and Woo Wee Becks as fullbacks. WeiLiang van Besar kept goal.


All these happened while Captain Fabreyas watched playmaker Klaka and Hard Gayman Taka warmed up in amusement.

All he said was, "Shiok..."

The foetal position. Klaka does yoga to practice his acrobatic penalty-earning dives.

Even YongXiano "Torres" would find this hard to beat.

Anyways, back to the match. X-S took the lead with "Torres" powering a header back acoss the goalkeeper from a wonderful Eng free-kick. They were relentlessly attacking but lost the lead through a lucky counter-attacking move.

The match was marred by the no. 80's Bruce Lee kick to X-S' skipper's right knee, effectively ending his game. He's been unlucky with injuries so far this season. It happened to be the same guy who got sent off with Farrellgher in a previous friendly. We've noticed the violent streak in him. The asshole only got a yellow card for that high tackle. Not that we're complaining cos the ref seemed to like YongXian and gave up free-kicks aplenty. Which unfortunately we wasted. On top of 3 corner kicks. That is something X-S has to stop wasting if we're looking for more victories.

Oh, second half saw the classic penalty miss from "Torres" as he was "affectionately" called by the WR fans aka subs. Klakar with his ingenious thinking lured one of their brain-dead defenders into the foul. Everyone must be wondering if there's ever going to be someone other than the skipper who'll put those away. Scary proposition. Penalty kick practices soon, surely.

X-S kept going, pinning the WR goalkeeper back with his pathetic goal-kicks. Something van Besar has to start practicing before every game or he will never improve. Case in point: his attempted clearance going straight to just outside his penalty area as he was standing at the left edge of his box. In between, Eng ran through the entire WR midfield and was fouled but it was not given. Then Farrellgher was antagonised by a fatty bom-bom named "Tag". Let's hope his first name is not "You're It". Klakar then ran through on goal and was taken down when one-on-one with the keeper, but any claims for a penalty was dismissed by the ref. Klakar admitted in his post-match interview, "Actcherli, I not confident of my left foot la. Can shoot one. So I abit acted also la."

Eventually towards the end, YongXian sent in a perfect cross for the tireless Hafiz to head home despite being surrounded. Their class shone through as Klakar and Hafiz cupped their ears in celebration and the X-S players huddled.

Kudos to the players who showed up. It was one of those games where everyone was excellent. Special mention to Derek who practically owned the right flank, capped by his surging run down the right. Let's hope to see more of his energetic performances this season. Taka dictated play superbly in central midfield, and shored up the left side when called upon there. The two strikers who played like Kuyt and Torres. Well, almost.

Here's to an unforgettable victory, one that will be etched in X-S history and remisnisced in years to come.

The Harpies Welcome Back a Triumphant Warrior!

Everyone here at X-S FC would like to congratulate their captain Fabreyaz for success during his international duty. A number of the players were down to show their support and love for their beloved captain as they all screamed themselves hoarse. Despite the fact that Fabreyaz only played 4 minutes and there was a deafening silence when his name was announced by the commentator, our captain played a fantabulous game. He covered every slice of artificial grass, ate everyone up just for snacks and was deservedly awarded Man-Of-The-Last-Part-Of-The-Match.

Pictures of him kissing the trophy can be made available on request, but it's time he starts kissing a girl instead.

For now...

Is it just me, or do you feel like slapping the gay on the left.

MATCH IS CANCELLED. NAHBEH.

Sunday 29th March
Fuhua Secondary
X-S FC VS BBDG ELITES
1500 (ready to single people by 1430)

X-S FC will be out for some blood after bowing out meekly in their previous match, but they will be going into the match without their talismanic captain Fabreyaz who is on international duty. The team wishes him all the best and hopes he gets to even sniff the grass at Republic Poly. Ipen will be issued a warning for speaking malay on the tagboard in this multi-racial team.

Meanwhile, newspapers have published photos of drunk X-S players behaving wildly. The players were seen tumbling down the steps of Ambrosia just past midnight, while patrons complained of constant banging, slapping(the sound of flesh on flesh), and howling coming from the room where the team was having a private function.

The club spokesperson has declined to comment on this issue, but he said the team will be having a sexier and wilder outing the moment the players are done with their academic commitments.