Mavericks send X-S Crashing.. Or So They Thought

X-S drew 2-2 with the Mavericks despite a really scrappy and poor performance in the first half. All the goals came in the second period, after the bell rang at Sembawang Sec and class 2/5 were having Art Lessons with Avram Grant's sister, Ms Tirza Grant. She had no doubt taught the boys a good lesson in fighting spirit as X-S equalised twice to level the score.

X-S defenders claimed that both goals conceded were offsides, but too bad for them, there were no linesmen. As ESPZEN beckons, performances like today cannot afford to be repeated. The entire team played poorly, and everyone had a bad moment although some had good moments but eventually it's all bad to be fair to those who had no good moments, so we declare the match as a bad moment. Its suspected that X-S players were suffering from "nonsundaychikungunyamatch" disease, affecting their performances as long as they play on any day other than Sunday. Let's hope this situation does not arise again.

However, it must be noted that the team was performing at a level unknown to the fans of late, so poor that it should be erased from the memory of humankind. Yong Tevez climbed to the Top Scorers Chart with a well-taken header from 0.000000001247mm out thanks to good attacking play from fullback Wei Jia, which culminated into a pinpoint cross. Colin-Hazim Richards scored his second in 2 matches in a goal-mouth scramble after a DELISH inswinging corner from Fabreyas. It must be noted that that was the only inswinging corner he got in the entire game. Who knows what the scoreline would be had there been more inswingers.

Which leads to the balance problem that X-S faces. We only have a left-footer in the team, who is effectively playing for another team. The balance is lacking. The yin and yang. Ping and pong. The left and right.

Eng and his golden voice has to be trained, as he needs to be audible if he's going to command any respect, or anyone for that matter. Booney on the other hand has to start shooting from outside the penalty box or, well, nothing. Derek and Bhai should get married for smiling so much in the game, as if they were the happiest people to grace the pitch on Sembawang Sec.

We expect Ronalidinho to have been beaten to pulp by SmackDat FC after running home, despite saying he'll play for them. The PFA has also announced Bacanury Sagna's removal from the Team Of The Year after his record number of foul-throws. At least one in every match he's played in.

With all due respect to Mavericks, X-S should have been home and dry had Tevez chosen to shoot at the gaping goal instead of the kids who were screaming "referee kayu!" on the 99th floor of the block beside Sembawang Sec, OR had Fabreyas' long-range effort found the back of the net instead of planting a SMACKDOWN on the crossbar.

X-S is going to release 2 new songs for the fans, the first being "We All Dream of A Team Of Farrellghers" which shall be sung to the tune of the Beatles' "We All Live In A Yellow Submarine" and the second is "Referee Kayu" which shall be sung to the tune of Malay Pop Hit, "Gadis Ayu".

Til' the next match, adieu.