X-S FC has been hit by the global credit crunch and the club is in chaos!
"Beer tycoons (i can't remember their names) have pulled out of the club, leaving the club finances in disarray and the inability to compete in the money-consuming ESPZEN. They will instead participate in a lower level league. However, we have managed to persuade the beer tycoons to leave behind their magical beer-making kettle to satisfy the alcoholics in the team." said a club spokesperson, after Fabreyaz leaked news that the club will not be taking part in top flight football anymore.
Fans are really angry with the recent lack of matches and feel that they aren't getting their money's worth from season tickets.
"I hope their dicks shrink!" said one male fan, pointing at a picture of Rafarrell Benitez and Yarsene Wenger.
"Fucking cunt!", said another male fan, while vandalising a raunchy picture of Derek O'Leary, outside the stadium.
"He's hawt!", purred a female fan, pointing at the picture of poster boy Woo Wee Becks with one hand, and the other in her skirt.
For now, let's look forward to seeing each other again this saturday, where we will take our brand of football to Braddell pitch, and erm, try our best to win. Just remember, the team doesn't need anything, except the Scouse spirit. And i thank you for reading this.
P.S The location and venue is below, so:
1) Read it
2) Do some soul-searching and decide if you can play
3) Pick your phone up
4) Text either " Yes my dick will be down there this sunday" or " No my dick will be in some hole i can't play" to
whoever you've been receiving messages from. I'm talking about either Farrell or Yasin, not the Thai prostitute.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Okay guys check this out. Farrell and I are registering in this league which starts next January. ESPZEN is swallowing our money WHOLE so we thought what the hell la, just play this cheaper league. Got PRIZE MONEY too.
So those required to transfer me SGD20 for our last ESPZEN payment (thank goodness), please do so by tonight or ASAP as I am not your personal bank. Heh heh.
Farrell has willingly volunteered to pay the 100 deposit for Playsports league registration and we'll collect the money as soon as Farrell needs it. =)
Okay next week match:
1pm
FC HoBo
2 NOVEMBER 2008
At Braddell Pitch (click here)
We've got to derust abit so be there by 12noon so we can sort ourselves out early and play our game when required. I believe Shaun will want to talk tactics. Haha. Report availability ASAP please. Thanks.
p.s. Liverpool is home at the top.
So those required to transfer me SGD20 for our last ESPZEN payment (thank goodness), please do so by tonight or ASAP as I am not your personal bank. Heh heh.
Farrell has willingly volunteered to pay the 100 deposit for Playsports league registration and we'll collect the money as soon as Farrell needs it. =)
Okay next week match:
1pm
FC HoBo
2 NOVEMBER 2008
At Braddell Pitch (click here)
We've got to derust abit so be there by 12noon so we can sort ourselves out early and play our game when required. I believe Shaun will want to talk tactics. Haha. Report availability ASAP please. Thanks.
p.s. Liverpool is home at the top.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Update:
ESPZEN FINAL Payment of SGD 300 is due. DAMN, give us a break already.
Dear ALL Sunday League Season 9 Teams:
Please be reminded that your 4th installment will be due on 27th October 2008. I would suggest that for teams collecting money from their members to start collecting as soon possible to ensure that you have enough funds before the due date.
Please note that once you have made the payment to send your payment details (Team Name, Date of Payment, Amount Paid and Mode of Payment) to finance@espzen.com so that Mae can reconcile your payment in our records. Thanks! J
Best Regards,
Tong
Next thing is matches shall resume this weekend. Voila. Cesc Fabreyas is injured.
And here are the pics from his open house. Huda and Ipen came early.
Halal Party Event of the Year!
xoxo,
Gossip Harpy.
ESPZEN FINAL Payment of SGD 300 is due. DAMN, give us a break already.
Dear ALL Sunday League Season 9 Teams:
Please be reminded that your 4th installment will be due on 27th October 2008. I would suggest that for teams collecting money from their members to start collecting as soon possible to ensure that you have enough funds before the due date.
Please note that once you have made the payment to send your payment details (Team Name, Date of Payment, Amount Paid and Mode of Payment) to finance@espzen.com so that Mae can reconcile your payment in our records. Thanks! J
Best Regards,
Tong
Next thing is matches shall resume this weekend. Voila. Cesc Fabreyas is injured.
And here are the pics from his open house. Huda and Ipen came early.
Halal Party Event of the Year!
xoxo,
Gossip Harpy.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
In the mid-season friendlies, the fans were treated to two mouth-watering defeats. First against a team that should we should have whooped 20-0, and another against a team of friendly mats, something we shouldn't come across ever in our lifetime.
"For the first game i told the team i wanted them to play passing. Apparently they aren't very bright and they played a whole new different game." said Rafarrell. For the second match the team fared better as the players had a week to mull over the words "play passing" and finally realised it actually means to pass the ball around. As a result, X-S FC spread the ball around as easy as spreading the legs of horny sluts, or Derek's legs, for that matter. Female fans were whistling, cheering and lifting up their skirts and undies(some were bushy, a small handful had triangular tufts, another few were hairless, while majority had dicks) every time Woo Wee Becks got the ball and they pray so hard that he will score his first goal for the club. Bookie.com has set the odds for him to ever score a goal at 1/100000, even higher than Weiliang's odds of 1/1000.
With the year coming to an end, and the club's most prestigious award, the Players' Player of the Year award being awarded to Woo Wee Becks, the club has revealed the official list of awards that will be awarded to their loyal players and fans:
Hottest fan: Jessica Alba
Top goalscorer(kicking the ball into the net) award: Yong Tevez
Fans' Player of the Year: Fabreyaz. for wearing nice socks.
Male Fans' Player of the Year: Takashi. Landslide victory against Cicineo. They just love japanese gay ass.
Parents' Player of the Year: Undecided because all parents vote for their son.
Grandparents' Player of the Year: Same reason as the abovementioned.
Player Who Scored the Most(note the difference): Unrevealed due to privacy reasons.
Player Who Looks Skillful Without Even Kicking a Ball: Cicineo.
Best Sikh Player: The one and only. Something to keep him happy.
Blackest Player: Tie between Fabreyaz, Bacanury Sagna and new signing, AhNeh.
Sexiest Player: Farrellgher
Most Charming Player: Farrellgher
Most Charismatic Player: Farrellgher. Ladies, it's mating season all year round for this amazing gentleman.
There you have it. Awards given out in recognition of the efforts put in by the brave young men. At this club, we believe in rewarding hard work. For now, lets miss each other and look forward to the final fixtures. The final lap guys. Might seem a little difficult cause we ain't perched nice and comfy anymore. Friendlies will still be arranged. Try to make it cause we still need to keep our engines running and to be tip-top and ready when the games start coming again. We will be ready for this tough test. Espzen, here we cum. Ugh.
"For the first game i told the team i wanted them to play passing. Apparently they aren't very bright and they played a whole new different game." said Rafarrell. For the second match the team fared better as the players had a week to mull over the words "play passing" and finally realised it actually means to pass the ball around. As a result, X-S FC spread the ball around as easy as spreading the legs of horny sluts, or Derek's legs, for that matter. Female fans were whistling, cheering and lifting up their skirts and undies(some were bushy, a small handful had triangular tufts, another few were hairless, while majority had dicks) every time Woo Wee Becks got the ball and they pray so hard that he will score his first goal for the club. Bookie.com has set the odds for him to ever score a goal at 1/100000, even higher than Weiliang's odds of 1/1000.
With the year coming to an end, and the club's most prestigious award, the Players' Player of the Year award being awarded to Woo Wee Becks, the club has revealed the official list of awards that will be awarded to their loyal players and fans:
Hottest fan: Jessica Alba
Top goalscorer(kicking the ball into the net) award: Yong Tevez
Fans' Player of the Year: Fabreyaz. for wearing nice socks.
Male Fans' Player of the Year: Takashi. Landslide victory against Cicineo. They just love japanese gay ass.
Parents' Player of the Year: Undecided because all parents vote for their son.
Grandparents' Player of the Year: Same reason as the abovementioned.
Player Who Scored the Most(note the difference): Unrevealed due to privacy reasons.
Player Who Looks Skillful Without Even Kicking a Ball: Cicineo.
Best Sikh Player: The one and only. Something to keep him happy.
Blackest Player: Tie between Fabreyaz, Bacanury Sagna and new signing, AhNeh.
Sexiest Player: Farrellgher
Most Charming Player: Farrellgher
Most Charismatic Player: Farrellgher. Ladies, it's mating season all year round for this amazing gentleman.
There you have it. Awards given out in recognition of the efforts put in by the brave young men. At this club, we believe in rewarding hard work. For now, lets miss each other and look forward to the final fixtures. The final lap guys. Might seem a little difficult cause we ain't perched nice and comfy anymore. Friendlies will still be arranged. Try to make it cause we still need to keep our engines running and to be tip-top and ready when the games start coming again. We will be ready for this tough test. Espzen, here we cum. Ugh.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Friendly match on Sunday 12 October 2008, 9AM kickoff
at Fuchun Secondary. Yellow jersey.
Please confirm attendance ASAP. Thanks.
p.s. if anyone pang seh, Derek is gonna make his dick real hard and put it in the hole in your face.
Exclusive!
Interview with Woo Wee Becks.
Reporter: So Becks, we've seen you start the last friendly and you look to be slow. Any reasons why?
Woo: Its because...
Reporter: It doesn't matter to us actually. So are you ready to get back to your best, swingin' your balls round the back? (not of your girlfriend) And scoring goals for X-S?
Woo: It would be...
Reporter: Okay nevermind. Actually my main question is, which is better: scoring for X-S or scoring with a girl?
Woo: I don't know. I don't think I've done either.
Reporter: And there you have it folks, straight from the muff of X-S Players' Player of the Year for 6 successive seasons.
Til' we meet again.
at Fuchun Secondary. Yellow jersey.
Please confirm attendance ASAP. Thanks.
p.s. if anyone pang seh, Derek is gonna make his dick real hard and put it in the hole in your face.
Exclusive!
Interview with Woo Wee Becks.
Reporter: So Becks, we've seen you start the last friendly and you look to be slow. Any reasons why?
Woo: Its because...
Reporter: It doesn't matter to us actually. So are you ready to get back to your best, swingin' your balls round the back? (not of your girlfriend) And scoring goals for X-S?
Woo: It would be...
Reporter: Okay nevermind. Actually my main question is, which is better: scoring for X-S or scoring with a girl?
Woo: I don't know. I don't think I've done either.
Reporter: And there you have it folks, straight from the muff of X-S Players' Player of the Year for 6 successive seasons.
Til' we meet again.
Friday, October 03, 2008
First things first, we go to war in our full yellow kits on sunday. Drunkards are allowed.
For those who aren't going to Fabreyaz's crib on saturday, you're missing out on the biggest party event of the year. On the annual partying events calendar, this date will always be marked out first. Party-goers can expect chicks, and erm, everything else including free-flow rendang, bryani, satay and ketupat. It's a chance to rub shoulders with the rich and famous, from movie stars to footballing stars to i-see-stars to pornstars. Players who want to know how our new owners look like can try to spot them (Hint: They don't shave their ass). Alcoholics can get their dosage from the booth outside his place, for this grand mansion is a smoke-free and alcohol-free zone. Infringe that and the Flobots will send a missile by satellite. Enough of bull, now for the serious stuff.
The lesson we all need to learn today and spend a little time on is right below:
The team is only as strong as the relationships within it.
Spend some time on it. Think of it when you sleep, smoke and wank. But please don't overwork your puny brain cause we know how small it already is and a little too much brain cell activity can kill off your remaining cells, turning you into a vegetable. Fans who think they are smart, please email us your views at the same address, happyharpies@yourmotherdownstairs. As usual, you know the rules. Shave it. The one who gives the best insight into this will stand a chance to win a pair of one-way tickets to Wonderland, where you can meet Alice, the Mad Hatter, and the Cheshire Cat. Players who want to earn marks for class participation can tag at the tagboard.
For those who aren't going to Fabreyaz's crib on saturday, you're missing out on the biggest party event of the year. On the annual partying events calendar, this date will always be marked out first. Party-goers can expect chicks, and erm, everything else including free-flow rendang, bryani, satay and ketupat. It's a chance to rub shoulders with the rich and famous, from movie stars to footballing stars to i-see-stars to pornstars. Players who want to know how our new owners look like can try to spot them (Hint: They don't shave their ass). Alcoholics can get their dosage from the booth outside his place, for this grand mansion is a smoke-free and alcohol-free zone. Infringe that and the Flobots will send a missile by satellite. Enough of bull, now for the serious stuff.
The lesson we all need to learn today and spend a little time on is right below:
The team is only as strong as the relationships within it.
Spend some time on it. Think of it when you sleep, smoke and wank. But please don't overwork your puny brain cause we know how small it already is and a little too much brain cell activity can kill off your remaining cells, turning you into a vegetable. Fans who think they are smart, please email us your views at the same address, happyharpies@yourmotherdownstairs. As usual, you know the rules. Shave it. The one who gives the best insight into this will stand a chance to win a pair of one-way tickets to Wonderland, where you can meet Alice, the Mad Hatter, and the Cheshire Cat. Players who want to earn marks for class participation can tag at the tagboard.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
MATCH@ WOODGROVE SECONDARY SCHOOL
DATE & TIME: SUNDAY 9AM
JERSEY: TO BE UPDATED BY FARRELL
*HARI RAYA INVITATION TO CESC FABREYAS' CRIB extended to all X-S players. THIS SATURDAY, NOON ONWARDS. BEST IF THE TEAM CAN COME TOGETHER AT ONE GO. YEOWZA. RSVP. HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE. ANY QUERIES CAN CALL/ SMS.
DATE & TIME: SUNDAY 9AM
JERSEY: TO BE UPDATED BY FARRELL
*HARI RAYA INVITATION TO CESC FABREYAS' CRIB extended to all X-S players. THIS SATURDAY, NOON ONWARDS. BEST IF THE TEAM CAN COME TOGETHER AT ONE GO. YEOWZA. RSVP. HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE. ANY QUERIES CAN CALL/ SMS.
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