The Harpy Times.

Latest:
Firstly, notorious defender Rio Ferdineng was caught at PGP (Parental Guidance Park) with 5 (that's right, one, two, three, four, FIVE!!!) ladies at midnight. When approached, he quickly huddled his ladies and left for a darker area within the Park. This reporter spotted the glint in his eyes, even when they were smaller than usual, as he turned away.

Manager Rafarell Benitez was livid upon hearing the news and it took a handjob from co-manager Derek O'Leary to calm him down. Yarsene Wenger issued a press release: "Eng will be dealt with internally. As long as he repairs Fabreyas' boots, we can overlook his insatiable sexual appetite."

Next up, it is old news that captain of the vices, Jamie Farrellgher, is making amends by performing community service. Anyone in need of his services can request it through happyharpies@yourmotherdownstairs.com.

X-S FC players are banned from visiting toilets for the handicapped because it has been discovered that nothing good comes out of it.

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X-S FC v Height Rovers (on 080309)

Venue: (Chiang) Hua Yi Sec a.k.a (Speak) Mandarin Secondary School

Time: 1500hrs (geared up by 1430hrs)

Jersey: Yellow Kit (opp. in black)

Players: Please update availability!
Out: Naqib (work), Far (SMU), Bhai (injured)

X-S FC looks set to avenge their disgraceful defeat with 9 valiant men in the first half of the first game. The defence may be on the rocks without Farrell but we have plenty in reserve to make up for the loss.

Meepo the Geomancer predicted good fengshui, considering the location is Mandarin Sec Sch and the opponents have none in their team.

Das Dingo!!!


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Lastly, anyone for team supper tonight?