2nd ATTENTION TO ALL:
Farrellgher has met with an accident as well. Sitting in the passenger seat was star player Booney and was unharmed. Farrellgher wasn't so lucky as he suffered a bruised ego. Both players were looking at an angry motorist who was horning and did not notice a taxi in front. Farrellgher then banged the butt of the taxi, with the head of the automobile and not his manhood of course. Ladies, please do not be over anxious as both players are certified by medical staff to be fit for action.
The club would like to take this opportunity to send its best regards and well wishes to Eduardo Da Silva. The players are all upset that a fellow professional has to suffer such a fate and we all wish for his speedy recovery.
"We have a game on sunday and i hope the players will not let such a grotesque sight affect their performance and bravery. Instead, i want 11 Martin Taylors on the field this sunday and we'll hunt the opponents down like rabbits. " -Rafarrell Benitez
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
ATTENTION ALL:
Our hot-ass midfielder Daniel Thong met with an accident recently. We have been informed that a woman driver ran a redlight and gave Dan the He-Man and his brother a bad fall. We reiterate our stance that women should not be allowed to drive, yet alone pilot anything except human-powered machinery such as prams and strollers. Daniel has a broken wrist and we shall all pray for his speedy recovery.
Match this weekend at 11am at Deyi, our hunting ground. GROWL.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
One Step Too High
Trounced 6-3, X-S FC was brought back down to earth after a series of high profile wins. Lacking a great deal of players, the team had a somewhat makeshift look to it. Yongberto Carlos and Jamie Farrellgher, normally wing-backs, were thrown into centre of defence, with Bacanury Sagna and Cicineo taking up the wing-back positions. The match started brightly for 10 men X-S, with Ali sending a screaming grounder into the corner of the net all from 30 yards out. The goal gave hopes to the players, who suddenly believed that they could make something out of this match, although they were lacking the core of the team and were playing with 10 men for better parts of the first half. Hopes were dashed, when some black thing equalised with a goal carbon copy of the first. 1st half ended. 5-1.
During the half time team-talk, O'Leary rallied his players and made tactical changes which were spot on. He sent on Mavericks FC player Amir Shearer and Korean starlet KimChi to try and win the game for X-S. The tide turned and X-S had numerous goal-scoring opportunities with Amir Shearer and Booney converting one each. The sense of a comeback was vanquished, when Ahlongso was sent off for a brilliant goal mouth save. 6-3 final score.
Player to watch: Amir Shearer. Although a player on loan, he showed why he was A division top scorer previously with his bag of tricks and lightning quick feet. One will relish the thought of him against the tight-as-a-virgin defence, as the two clubs prepare for a titanic tussle in the coming weeks, with quality of football nothing short of a Champions League game.
KimChi made an interesting return from injury, as he took on players and had a few close attempts from range. Also, earned the plaudits for doing a circus act during the game. Could make a return to the team, but will be in a dilemma over which club to play for.
Commitments of some players were questioned, whereas others were strengthened. Kudos to Cicineo, who took a cab from tampines to woodlands to be in time for the game, Booney who played even with flu, KimChi who rushed down after going to the wrong place initiallty, and for Maverick's players who gave their all. And lastly, to all the players who played, lets ask the nearest person to us now to pat us on the back for giving our all, even when we knew the odds were against us.
For those who couldnt make it genuinely, we missed you guys. For the rest who came up with stupid reasons, you know who you are, read this - you're fucked.
Trounced 6-3, X-S FC was brought back down to earth after a series of high profile wins. Lacking a great deal of players, the team had a somewhat makeshift look to it. Yongberto Carlos and Jamie Farrellgher, normally wing-backs, were thrown into centre of defence, with Bacanury Sagna and Cicineo taking up the wing-back positions. The match started brightly for 10 men X-S, with Ali sending a screaming grounder into the corner of the net all from 30 yards out. The goal gave hopes to the players, who suddenly believed that they could make something out of this match, although they were lacking the core of the team and were playing with 10 men for better parts of the first half. Hopes were dashed, when some black thing equalised with a goal carbon copy of the first. 1st half ended. 5-1.
During the half time team-talk, O'Leary rallied his players and made tactical changes which were spot on. He sent on Mavericks FC player Amir Shearer and Korean starlet KimChi to try and win the game for X-S. The tide turned and X-S had numerous goal-scoring opportunities with Amir Shearer and Booney converting one each. The sense of a comeback was vanquished, when Ahlongso was sent off for a brilliant goal mouth save. 6-3 final score.
Player to watch: Amir Shearer. Although a player on loan, he showed why he was A division top scorer previously with his bag of tricks and lightning quick feet. One will relish the thought of him against the tight-as-a-virgin defence, as the two clubs prepare for a titanic tussle in the coming weeks, with quality of football nothing short of a Champions League game.
KimChi made an interesting return from injury, as he took on players and had a few close attempts from range. Also, earned the plaudits for doing a circus act during the game. Could make a return to the team, but will be in a dilemma over which club to play for.
Commitments of some players were questioned, whereas others were strengthened. Kudos to Cicineo, who took a cab from tampines to woodlands to be in time for the game, Booney who played even with flu, KimChi who rushed down after going to the wrong place initiallty, and for Maverick's players who gave their all. And lastly, to all the players who played, lets ask the nearest person to us now to pat us on the back for giving our all, even when we knew the odds were against us.
For those who couldnt make it genuinely, we missed you guys. For the rest who came up with stupid reasons, you know who you are, read this - you're fucked.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
X-S On A High
X-S put a confident and convincing 3-1 win over Bravolona, coming from 1 goal down. It was a performance that will go down as one of the team's most memorable matches, just because of the sky-high confidence and fighting-spirit which encapsulates the X-S dominance.
X-S began the match with 3 new Mayon imports, namely Ilhan Manqif, Hafizo Quagliarella and Miemie Reina. Fabreyaz started on the left despite his flu. Klakar and Dan partnered in the middle with Hafizo on the right. Manqif and Yong Tevez paired up front. BacaNuri Sagna and Yongberto Carlos flanked Nizararzu and Farrell Terry.
Despite the occasional foul-throws by BacaNury which had Yarsene fuming on the touchlines, X-S and Bravolona were trading blow for blow, with Bravolona dishing it out literally. The referee had to keep reminding their players to keep their cool. Referee waved off a very legitimate penalty appeal from X-S as we mounted on the pressure. Everyone was jostling to take free-kicks, and the inconsistencies were apparent. Just after X-S missed a free-kick at the other end, Bravolona got their breakthrough. Klakar was living up to his name as he and Farrell tried dancing with a Bravolona player. The resulting free-kick was blasted right through our goalie. 1-0 to Bravolona. Eng and Bhai were late from their earlier misdemeanours and came on soon after. X-S kept going at them and out of the blue, a long throw from Daniel was flicked-on by Tevez to the far post, looping over their goalie. 1-1. Brilliant goal, cos we all know luck favours the brave. An off-the-ball incident saw Bravolona no. 21 sent off for a retaliation kick at Tevez. Their old man no. 22 apparently threatened Tevez after that, but we only had 2 words for them: "Suck It." Half-time.
In the second half, X-S dominated proceedings with their 1-man advantage. SissyNeo was like Cicineo, pushing for a first-team place as he held that left-back position as if its his father's Ang Mo Kio house. He won header after header, making smart passes and biting any advancing player with BigTooth. Speaking of teeth, Ali Giggs was irrepressible on the right. Runnning like the wind past his markers, culminating in a splendid cross-field pass that saw Tevez head just wide. ManQif was not to be outdone as he cushioned a pass and volleyed it from 30m out over the goalkeeper. 2-1, X-S cruising with Fabreyas, Nizarazu, Klakar and Carlos on the bench. Quagliarella soon showed his heading prowess and looped a header over the goalkeeper into the far post side-netting. Beautiful, despite playing more like Kuyt throughout the match. 3-1 it was.
It was one-way street from there on as the match was marred by bad tackles from Bravolona. X-S players took this opportunity to practise their free-kick taking skills. Everytime a long ball was played, Eng just stepped up with his hand high up in the air, confident as a peacock. Even Rio Ferdinand would be hard-pressed to play with such arrogance and confidence.
Boot-watch: Tevez in his spanking new white Nike Air Zooms and Fabreyas with his latest Mercurial Vapour. He is currently tri-sponsored by Adidas, Lotto and Nike. (In reality, not even Malaysia's Asadi would sponsor him.)
New players to watch: Qivo, Fizo and Miemie.
X-S put a confident and convincing 3-1 win over Bravolona, coming from 1 goal down. It was a performance that will go down as one of the team's most memorable matches, just because of the sky-high confidence and fighting-spirit which encapsulates the X-S dominance.
X-S began the match with 3 new Mayon imports, namely Ilhan Manqif, Hafizo Quagliarella and Miemie Reina. Fabreyaz started on the left despite his flu. Klakar and Dan partnered in the middle with Hafizo on the right. Manqif and Yong Tevez paired up front. BacaNuri Sagna and Yongberto Carlos flanked Nizararzu and Farrell Terry.
Despite the occasional foul-throws by BacaNury which had Yarsene fuming on the touchlines, X-S and Bravolona were trading blow for blow, with Bravolona dishing it out literally. The referee had to keep reminding their players to keep their cool. Referee waved off a very legitimate penalty appeal from X-S as we mounted on the pressure. Everyone was jostling to take free-kicks, and the inconsistencies were apparent. Just after X-S missed a free-kick at the other end, Bravolona got their breakthrough. Klakar was living up to his name as he and Farrell tried dancing with a Bravolona player. The resulting free-kick was blasted right through our goalie. 1-0 to Bravolona. Eng and Bhai were late from their earlier misdemeanours and came on soon after. X-S kept going at them and out of the blue, a long throw from Daniel was flicked-on by Tevez to the far post, looping over their goalie. 1-1. Brilliant goal, cos we all know luck favours the brave. An off-the-ball incident saw Bravolona no. 21 sent off for a retaliation kick at Tevez. Their old man no. 22 apparently threatened Tevez after that, but we only had 2 words for them: "Suck It." Half-time.
In the second half, X-S dominated proceedings with their 1-man advantage. SissyNeo was like Cicineo, pushing for a first-team place as he held that left-back position as if its his father's Ang Mo Kio house. He won header after header, making smart passes and biting any advancing player with BigTooth. Speaking of teeth, Ali Giggs was irrepressible on the right. Runnning like the wind past his markers, culminating in a splendid cross-field pass that saw Tevez head just wide. ManQif was not to be outdone as he cushioned a pass and volleyed it from 30m out over the goalkeeper. 2-1, X-S cruising with Fabreyas, Nizarazu, Klakar and Carlos on the bench. Quagliarella soon showed his heading prowess and looped a header over the goalkeeper into the far post side-netting. Beautiful, despite playing more like Kuyt throughout the match. 3-1 it was.
It was one-way street from there on as the match was marred by bad tackles from Bravolona. X-S players took this opportunity to practise their free-kick taking skills. Everytime a long ball was played, Eng just stepped up with his hand high up in the air, confident as a peacock. Even Rio Ferdinand would be hard-pressed to play with such arrogance and confidence.
Boot-watch: Tevez in his spanking new white Nike Air Zooms and Fabreyas with his latest Mercurial Vapour. He is currently tri-sponsored by Adidas, Lotto and Nike. (In reality, not even Malaysia's Asadi would sponsor him.)
New players to watch: Qivo, Fizo and Miemie.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The club has received devastating news that Beckham Woo will be ruled out of action due to his osteochondral fracture in the lateral femoral condyle with complete tear of the anterior cruciate ligament and partial tear of the medial collateral ligament, as reported by club medical staffr, Dr.Octopus and Dr.Evil. He will have to undergo surgery and his playing career might well be over. However, X-S FC will offer Woo a managerial position alongside O'Leary as they look to him to impart his brilliant crossing and deadball techniques to the players. As a result, Rafarrell Benitez will be promoted to technical director and Yarsene Wenger will be his assistant-cum-boot-polisher. Fans are upset(or probably elated) to the point of tears, and will miss the sight of their number 7 sitting on the bench and catching him in full flight during his pre-substitution warm-ups along the touchline. The club's board of directors, managers, players, fans, women, and groundsmen wish Beckham Woo all the best in his surgery and his future endeavours.
The players will train harder and prepare for the forthcoming match, Saturday 3pm at Marseille Secondary. It will be played in honour and remembrance of this once great player.
P.S no worries bout the heat this saturday, "George Bush has pledged to fight global warming. He'll be sending 20,000 troops to the sun." - The Sun
The players will train harder and prepare for the forthcoming match, Saturday 3pm at Marseille Secondary. It will be played in honour and remembrance of this once great player.
P.S no worries bout the heat this saturday, "George Bush has pledged to fight global warming. He'll be sending 20,000 troops to the sun." - The Sun
Friday, February 08, 2008
4 X-S FC players were caught by reporters entering Beckham Woo's apartment in the Wee hours of the morning on 2nd Feb, just hours before the highly anticipated clash with Ex-Mats FC. It was believed that the players and a co-manager were involved in a late night party with a girl already waiting in the apartment. Known by some as MJ, or by asians as MahJong, the girl is hot and popular in the asian entertainment industry. Racy pictures shows 3 players, Farrell, Boon and AhLong, ALONG with co-manager O'Leary and the girl to be involved in a fivesome. Neighbours have also complained that loud noises could be heard throughout the session and it was very disturbing.
The players went against the curfew which stated that everyone had to be in bed by 3am before any games and will look to be severely punished. When contacted, Yarsene Wenger had this to say, " Who took which hole? The club will certainly punish the person who stuck his weeny up a hole that isnt suppose to be stuffed ".
However, the recent scandal could not dampen the mood of the fans who were treated to tantalising football in the previous game, in which X-S FC trounced Ex-Mats 3-0. Match reports will be absent for some time as reporter Cheryl Foxxy has eloped with O'Leary to Taiwan.
*edit*
Cheryl Foxxy would like to clear the air about eloping with O'Leary, who is clearly gay. He would never pick a woman, even one as hot as her. Boon Sun is clearly his only aim. As for who she was with that night, Cheryl wouldn't mention.
The Ex-Mats were trounced 3-0 as X-S wasted millions of chances throughout the match. They never went into top gear and noone particularly stood out other than the all-red Singh, who single-handedly was involved in almost all X-S attacks. His shot was parried away and Wayne Booney scored from the rebound. Long then sent Huda clear to place the ball neatly into the bottom corner. Fabreyaz blazed his freekick way over and soon it was half-time. Clearly, Ex-Mats were more intent on playing in their own half.
The second half saw more attacking intent from the Mats in red (X-S were in white that day), but Farrell cleared everything. He was boosted by the presence of Janicia Lopez in the stands, as we could see Daniel uncomfortable without Esther Longoria's presence. Long added a third for good measure. Amin and Fabreyas were practising corner-kick set-pieces as every corner went to Amin's head but unluckily he failed to convert the numerous chances he had. Derek made his only worthwhile contribution in the match by clearing a goal-bound effort off the line and X-S won 3-0.
The groundsmen almost locked Janicia Lopez, Farrell and Booney in the ground had manager O'Leary not held on to the gate to save them. What an angsty groundsmen. Amin then left his trackpants behind, but no female fans picked it up. To save his embarassment of not being wanted, Yarsene helped him keep it.
The players went against the curfew which stated that everyone had to be in bed by 3am before any games and will look to be severely punished. When contacted, Yarsene Wenger had this to say, " Who took which hole? The club will certainly punish the person who stuck his weeny up a hole that isnt suppose to be stuffed ".
However, the recent scandal could not dampen the mood of the fans who were treated to tantalising football in the previous game, in which X-S FC trounced Ex-Mats 3-0. Match reports will be absent for some time as reporter Cheryl Foxxy has eloped with O'Leary to Taiwan.
*edit*
Cheryl Foxxy would like to clear the air about eloping with O'Leary, who is clearly gay. He would never pick a woman, even one as hot as her. Boon Sun is clearly his only aim. As for who she was with that night, Cheryl wouldn't mention.
The Ex-Mats were trounced 3-0 as X-S wasted millions of chances throughout the match. They never went into top gear and noone particularly stood out other than the all-red Singh, who single-handedly was involved in almost all X-S attacks. His shot was parried away and Wayne Booney scored from the rebound. Long then sent Huda clear to place the ball neatly into the bottom corner. Fabreyaz blazed his freekick way over and soon it was half-time. Clearly, Ex-Mats were more intent on playing in their own half.
The second half saw more attacking intent from the Mats in red (X-S were in white that day), but Farrell cleared everything. He was boosted by the presence of Janicia Lopez in the stands, as we could see Daniel uncomfortable without Esther Longoria's presence. Long added a third for good measure. Amin and Fabreyas were practising corner-kick set-pieces as every corner went to Amin's head but unluckily he failed to convert the numerous chances he had. Derek made his only worthwhile contribution in the match by clearing a goal-bound effort off the line and X-S won 3-0.
The groundsmen almost locked Janicia Lopez, Farrell and Booney in the ground had manager O'Leary not held on to the gate to save them. What an angsty groundsmen. Amin then left his trackpants behind, but no female fans picked it up. To save his embarassment of not being wanted, Yarsene helped him keep it.
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